876-TuesAug11

comedy4cast #876

Odd News Times Twos for August 11, 2026

"Socks It To Me"

Written by

Clinton Alvord

CAST

(in order of appearance, where possible, otherwise by actor)

ID ANNOUNCER.......................COMPUTER
CLINTON............................CLINTON ALVORD

INTRO: COMEDY4CAST STUDIO

CLINTON

This is comedy4cast, episode 876, "Socks It To Me".

MUSIC: COMEDY4CAST NETWORK ID STING

ID ANNOUNCER

The comedy4cast network. Let's dog ear that for now.

MUSIC: ID MUSIC UP AND OUT.

MUSIC: OPENING THEME MUSIC IN AND UNDER

CLINTON

It's time, once again, for the August Dog Days of Podcasting challenge. For more information and to hear shows from all the participants, go to dogdaysofpodcasting.com.

comedy4cast always take this opportunity to provide you with some interesting, yet totally useless Odd News. In fact, TWO Odd News stories that we thing deserve each other. So, let's have some fun with "Odd News Times Twos"!

MUSIC: INTRO THEME MUSIC UP AND OUT.

SFX: TRANSITION WHOOSH.

STORIES NUMBER 1 AND 2 ARE COMBINED.

CLINTON

For our first story, we're jetting off to South Hadley, Massachusetts and the Mount Holyoke College Botanic Garden.

SFX: ELECTRONIC WHOOSH.

CLINTON (cont'd)

Now, let's get to the college's Talcott Greenhouse. It houses about 2,000 plant species. But we're here to witness the rare blooming of one particular species, and we don't have much time.

However, before we do that, we need to head to Annapolis, Maryland, for our second story!

SFX: ELECTRONIC WHOOSH.

CLINTON (cont'd)

I'm beginning to appreciate The Doctor a bit more every time I do that.

Anyway, we're here on the vernal equinox, the end of Winter/beginning of Spring. Which means we're just in time for an annual Spring festival held right here in the Chesapeake Bay. Well, not IN the bay. That would be very wet. But on the beach.

Over there you can see the Naptown Brass Band and the Eastport Oyster Boys getting set up on the bandstand.

Speaking of oysters, a couple of thousand have already been shucked for the festival, with more to come.Of course, festivals on the beach are nothing new. But this one is unique. It commemorates and reenacts an event that happened here in the harbor nearly 50 years ago. Back in 1977, at the end of a prolonged cold winter, boat builder and sailing enthusiast, Bob Turner, had become very, very, very tired of wearing his heavy Winter socks. So much so that he finally took matters, and his socks, into his own hands. Yanking the covers off his feet, he doused the fabric with lighter fluid and set the socks aflame, vowing to not wear another pair until the following Winter.

And that event is now immortalized by way of the Annapolis Oyster Roast & Sock Burning festival -- a highlight of which is the reading of the "Ode to the Equinox", which concludes with these lines...

So if you sail into the harbor on the 20th of March

And smell a smell like Limburger mixed in with laundry starch,

You’ll know you’re downwind of the Eastport docks

Where they’re burning their socks for the equinox.

Oh, that's beautiful.

And with the poem concluded, and the fire pit ready, festival attendees begin tossing unlucky socks into the flames. Dozens and dozens of colorful, worn out, and, yes, often unwashed socks go up in smoke.

It's quite the sight to behold. If you're upwind of it, that is.

It's also a practice that has spread to other port towns from the Pacific Northwest to New England.

New England! That's right. We need to get back to East Hadley, Massachusetts!

SFX: ELECTRONIC WHOOSH.

CLINTON (cont'd)

Here in Mount Holyoke's Talbott Greenhouse, a rare tropical plant,
Amorphophallus Titanum, nicknamed "Pangy", is blooming. That's a big deal because the timing is difficult to predict, often preceded by years of dormancy.

The plant is large, Pangy's green, vase-like lower half is about the size of a 2-gallon bucket. Over the past six weeks, the other part of the plant, has grown rapidly up from this base, at times shooting up several inches a day. It looks like, kind of resembles, well, consider the name of the plant is Amorphophallus Titanum. Okay?

Now that the plant has bloomed, everyone wants to take a look.

But it's really the plant's scent that has drawn everyone to this event. And, strangely enough, it's also driving them away. Because the more common name of Amorphophallus Titanum, is the Corpse Flower. It's native to the rain forests of Sumatra and when it blooms, it releases a rather pungent scent.

People here to sample the aroma describe it in glowing terms like "a stinky diaper baking in the sun" or evoking memories of dissecting a dead bird. But that's the plant's plan. The scent is meant to mimic decaying flesh and attract pollinators such as flies and beetles.

The plant only flowers for a brief period. It will gradually deteriorate and collapse. But "Pangy" can survive underground and may bloom again in a few years, ready to stink up the place again.

So, what did we learn today? I think it's that these events help us remember to stop and smell the roses. Oh, and do the laundry!

OUTRO: COMEDY4CAST STUDIO

MUSIC: END THEME IN AND UNDER FOR...

CLINTON

That about wraps it up for today's "Odd News Times Twos". But first, a very special shout-out to the folks who help power comedy4cast -- my Patreon patrons, including Producer-level patrons, Paul Barrie, from the A Window to the Magic podcast, Kirby Bartlett-Sloan, Chuck Tomasi from the Technorama podcast, Kyle Nishioka, Brian Martsolf, Amy Murphy, and Steve Ng from steveng5.com, that's s-t-e-v-e-n-g the number five dot com. You, too, can support comedy4cast. Just search for comedy4cast, all one word with the number 4, on patreon.com. Or click on the link on the comedy4cast.com home page.

In this episode, the parts of guest voice were played by guest.

Talk to you again next time! But for now, that's it. We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye bye!

MUSIC: 'END THEME' UP AND OUT.

=== THE END ===