comedy4cast 864

"Danny Takes A SuperGuess"

Written by

Clinton Alvord

CAST

(in order of appearance, where possible, otherwise by actor)

ID ANNOUNCER.......................COMPUTER
CLINTON

BUZZ "SCOOP" CRACKERJACK THOMAS

SEGMENT ANNOUNCER

DANNY HILLCREST

NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON...............CLINTON ALVORD

INTRO: COMEDY4CAST STUDIO

MUSIC: COMEDY4CAST NETWORK ID STING

ID ANNOUNCER

The comedy4cast network. Let's dog ear that for now.

MUSIC: ID MUSIC UP AND OUT.

CLINTON

comedy4cast is the official podcast of spare tires, sea shells by the sea shore, and that one fork you have in the drawer that doesn't match any of the other forks and you have no idea where it came from.

MUSIC: OPENING CREDITS THEME IN AND UNDER.

CLINTON (cont'd)

Oh, Hi! You're here. Welcome to the show. I'm Clinton and this is comedy4cast, episode 864, "Danny Takes A SuperGuess"!

Danny Hillcrest is back, with another movie preview review.

But, before that, a quick reminder you can support this spunky little show by becoming a patron. Head over to patreon.com and searching for "comedy4cast," -- all one word with the number 4. Or click on the link on the comedy4cast.com home page. And thank you!

Now, let's have some fun.

MUSIC: OPENING CREDITS THEME UP AND OUT.

SCENE 1: TV STUDIO - EVENING

BUZZ

You're back, with Buzz "Scoop" Crackerjack Thomas. And finally in today's news, a new website has entered the already crowded online gambling maelstrom designed to separate you from that pesky loose change in your retirement fund.

"You Betcha" is hoping to stand out from the crowd by exclusively accepting wagers on past events.

Let that one sink in a moment.

Savvy gamesters are now able to try to beat the odds by betting against historical events, such as the possibility that someone, ANYONE, in history will invent baseball. High rollers can even create their own triple-play parlays by risking it all on their retro-hunches that Einstein will be remembered for his work writing young adult novels, the Great Lakes will be created by pirates digging for buried treasure and the idea of the wheel will never catch on. It sounds perfectly preposterous. Undoubtedly meaning it will be a huge success.

DANNY

I love it!

BUZZ

Hillcrest?! What are you doing here?

DANNY

Hi! Danny Hillcrest here! And it's time for...

MUSIC: "DANNY ON HOLLYWOOD" IN AND DUCKS FOR...

BUZZ

Oh no you don't! Stop that music!

MUSIC: MUSIC SLOWS TO A STOP.

BUZZ (cont'd)

The newscast is almost over, Hillcrest. We don't have time for you to blather on and on about all the movies coming out for the next several months.

DANNY

But I'm not here to sayingly do that, Buzz. That was the old me, even though I was younger then.

BUZZ

I will try to interpret that as a good thing.

DANNY

From now on I'll just blather on and on about one movie at a time. So, let's get started with...

MUSIC: "DANNY ON HOLLYWOOD" IN AND UNDER FOR..

SEGMENT ANNOUNCER

Danny Hillcrest's Sunburned Sun Take on 2026 Summer Movies! Part One: Supergirl!

MUSIC: "DANNY ON HOLLYWOOD" THEME UP AND OUT.

SEGMENT ANNOUNCER (cont'd)

Sponsored by Smelz-a-Lot Hand Soap. Look for it in the new, easier to handle fireproof wrapper.

BUZZ

Supergirl? Hillcrest, I doubt you even know who Supergirl is?

DANNY

Wait. Do you mean she has a secret identity?

BUZZ

What? No. I mean that ...

DANNY

Oh. Who is she? Taylor Swift? Beyoncé? Angela Merkel?!

BUZZ

Hillcrest!

DANNY

Nope. She's not me, Buzz. But, I've been examiningly studying the trailers for this movie a lot, to figure out what Supergirl's deal is.

BUZZ

You do realize you could have simply gone to the movie.

DANNY

I love it! But it's difficultly hard to do research in the theater, Buzz. They keep telling me to put away my laptop. And don't even get me started on the look I get when I ask the usher for the wifi password!

According to the trailers, Supergirl drinks. A lot. A. Lot. In fact, I'm hunchingly guessing she even has one of those trendy celebrity spirits drink labels, like walking corporations Ryan Reynolds and Dwayne "On the Rocks" Johnson. Maybe Supergirl's brand is House of Zor-El Zinfandel. Or Kryptonite Cognac. Would you buyingly purchase her Red Sun Moonshine, Buzz?

BUZZ

I think someone turned off your subtitles, Hillcrest. I have no idea what you're saying.

DANNY

You're correctingly right. I'm not even sure space drinks have alcohol. Some of the bottles in the movie trailers are orange, so they could be full of Tang.

BUZZ

The point, Hillcrest? What does that have to do with...

DANNY

Why Supergirl drink so much? I'm glad you asked.

BUZZ

I specifically did not! In fact, I...

DANNY

It looks like she's reached peak crisis TJ maxxing with a shopping cart full of problems. Beginningly first, Supergirl's planet blows up. I'll admit that's bad, but I think people in movies have to start expecting that to happen. If you see a wide long shot of your planet, it's pretty much doomed.

Then, spacely intergalactic bad guys do something that hurts Supergirl's dog. Which means she's probably on the edge of going totally John Wick on their asteroid.

By the way, Buzz, her k-ninely dog's name is Krypto, after her planet, Krypton. But that would kind of be like me naming my dog Eart. Which would be bizarro, because I don't have a dog.

BUZZ

I think the animal shelter across town is still open. If you leave now you might be able to...

DANNY

But, the giantly big thing that's really bumming Supergirl is her cousin, last Summer's Superman. He thought it would be fun to have them wear matching red and blue outfits. Which, honestly, comes off as super creepy. Especially because that means they both have giant scarlet letters on their chests, just like in that book "The Scarlet Johansson."

BUZZ

Can we please cut his microphone?

DANNY

In the movie, Supergirl teams up with Jason Momoa's skid-row version of Aquaman to fight a bunch of barfly extras from the Mad Max movies. It's kind of like "Roadhouse" meets "Borderlands". No. I'm kidding. No one ever liked "Borderlands".

Supergirl's also friendingly paling around with a character named Ruthye Marye Knoll...E. And the weird thing is Supergirl Millie Alcock doesn't get to talk with her Quigly Australian accent while the actress who plays Ruthye is all "Blimey! The Brigands up and fish and chipped my parents! Tea! Scones!"

BUZZ

This reporter finds himself hoping for a long series of commercials full of medical interaction disclaimers!

DANNY

But, Buzz, I'm about to get to the best part.

BUZZ

Might that be the end?

DANNY

Exactly! Because this movie solutionly answers some really big questions. Someone says the bad guy Brigands have been causing trouble in every corner of the universe. Which means we now know the universe has corners -- like a box of Lucky Charms! I decided to call Neil Degrass Tyson to tell him the news.

BUZZ

What, pray-tell, did he say?

NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON'S VOICE IS TINNY, OVER A PHONE.

NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON (ON PHONE)

Danny? I thought I blocked your number. And, no, I don't care what shape it is. you can't just go and travel all over the entire universe! So, let's think about this. The universe is at least 23 trillion miles in diameter, okay? With billions of galaxies. Nobody is going to be zipping around that whole thing like they're going to out to get a pizza. All right? Now, I'm hanging up and throw this phone away. This was our last talk.

SFX: NOISE OF PHONE DISCONNECTING.

BUZZ

What is the point here, Hillcrest? Do you recommend this movie or DON'T you?

DANNY

I sure do, Buzz. How can anyone resist a movie about a rampaging drunk wearing hand-me-down clothes fighting alongside Garrett from "A Minecraft Movie"? I love it!

MUSIC: NEWS ENDING THEME AND UNDER FOR...

BUZZ

This is Buzz "Scoop" Crackerjack Thomas reminding you, if you share a clip of this on your Tick Tockers, just leave me out of it!

MUSIC: UP AND FINISH.

OUTRO: COMEDY4CAST STUDIO

MUSIC: 'END THEME'

CLINTON

That about wraps it up. But first, a very special shout-out to the folks who help power comedy4cast -- my Patreon patrons, including Producer-level patrons, Paul Barrie, from the A Window to the Magic podcast, Kirby Bartlett-Sloan, Chuck Tomasi from the Technorama podcast, Kyle Nishioka, Brian Martsolf, Amy Murphy, and Steve Ng from steve ng 5 dot com, that's s-t-e-v-e-n-g the number five dot com. You, too, can support comedy4cast and get episodes before everyone else for as little as $2 a month. Just search for comedy4cast, all one word with the number 4, on patreon.com. Or click on the link on the comedy4cast.com home page.

Script, voices and original music by me, Clinton Alvord, Copyright 2026. All rights reserved.

Talk to you again next time! But for now, that's it. We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye bye!

MUSIC: 'END THEME' UP AND OUT.

=== THE END ===