comedy4cast #845

"A Pocket-Sized Paradise"

Written by

Clinton Alvord

CAST

(in order of appearance, where possible, otherwise by actor)

ID ANNOUNCER..............................COMPUTER
CLINTON

WORTHINGTON HAMMOND CHESTERFIELD III

HAMM'S DAD.............................CLINTON ALVORD

TEACHER...................................BONNIE KENDERDINE

YOUNG HAMM................................NATHAN ALVORD

INTRO: COMEDY4CAST STUDIO

MUSIC: COMEDY4CAST NETWORK ID STING

ID ANNOUNCER

The comedy4cast network. Let's dog ear that for now.

MUSIC: ID MUSIC UP AND OUT.

CLINTON

Oh, hi! Clinton here. Welcome to the Dog Days of Pumpkin Spice Season.

MUSIC: OPENING THEME MUSIC IN AND UNDER.

CLINTON (cont'd)

Yes, August got away from me because -- life. So, this is my unofficial extension of Dog Days. For more information on that, go to dogdaysofpodcasting.com.

I always use Dog Days to give you 31 episodes full of some interesting, yet totally useless Odd News. And this year, to celebrate the Platinum Anniversary of comedy4cast, or PAC for short, I'll end each Dog Days episode with part of a classic comedy4cast episode. So, let's get started with "Odd News PAC"!

MUSIC: THEME MUSIC UP AND OUT.

SFX: TRANSITION WHOOSH.

STORY: TINY TERRITORY

CLINTON

Earlier this Odd News month, we reported on a man who set himself up as the ambassador to a handful of fake countries in order to scam people. Now, we're reporting on a totally different man who has declared himself president of a country you might struggle to find on any map.

Meet Daniel Jackson, founder of the Free Republic of Verdis -- a sliver of forest, less than 25 acres in total, along Europe's Danube River. It turns out that Jackson discovered that this small parcel of land was unclaimed by either Croatia or Serbia due to an ongoing border dispute.

So, on May 30, 2019, he declared Verdisian independence -- complete with a flag, cabinet, currency and nearly 400 citizens. Sounds like they don't have a national anthem. Mr. President, I seem to have one hanging around from that other story.

SFX: "HAIL SEBORGA" IN AND UNDER.

CLINTON (cont'd)

Call me.

The area the British man claimed, known on maps as "pocket three," has since been named the world’s second-smallest country, right behind Vatican City.

Jackson is a 20-year-old digital designer, who earns a living by creating virtual worlds on Roblox. He began shaping Verdis into a functioning government when he was just 18, forming some laws and creating a flag. He says that Verdis has now built up a government and has a "great cabinet." The current listed population, as of this recording, is 350, although over 15,000 applications have been received.

Each person receives a passport — though Jackson has warned people against trying to use it for actual international travel.

That said, some citizens have reportedly used their Verdisian passport to enter other countries.

Although the country's official website states that Verdis was not claimed by use of force, nor is it a separatist or secession movement, there have been political struggles.

It turns out that Verdis is accessible only by boat from the Croatian city of Osijek. In October 2023, Croatian police detained several settlers, along with Jackson himself, before deporting them and issuing him a lifetime ban from entering the country.

Now operating what he calls a "government in exile," Jackson travels frequently to Belgrade, Serbia, where he says officials have been more receptive. He continues to advocate for the right to access Verdis via Croatia and hopes to return to live there one day.

We'll have a link to the Verdisian Government's official website in the show notes for this episode, "A Pocket-Sized Pardise" over at comedy4cast (all one word, with the number 4) .com.

And remember, Mr. President, call me about that national anthem.

SFX: "HAIL SEBORGA" UP AND OUT.

...

SFX: TRANSITION WHOOSH.

CLIP: HERE'S HAMM

CLINTON

And now, let's celebrate 20 years of comedy4cast with this classic clip!

In this clip, from July of 2006, I try to introduce a new character into the show and let you get to know bit about his backstory.

SFX: TRANSITION WHOOSH.

NOTE: HAMM speaks with an exaggerated "upper crust" accent. It is a sort of stiff-lower-jaw accent from "Gilligan's Island," only even more pronounced.

HAMM

My name is Worthington Hammond Chesterfield III. My friends call me Hamm. I'm not really sure why. And, for some reason, people tend to think that I'm rich or sophisticated or even smart. I'm not. I'm just handsome and I talk this way. You might find that funny, but it's been a problem for me all my life. For instance, there was a time my dad got called in to speak with me and one of my teachers. He came right from his shift at the car wash.

MUSIC: SHORT HARP GLISSANDO.

TEACHER

Thank you for coming today, Mr. Chesterfield. Please sit down.

HAMM'S DAD

Uh-huh. Oops.

SFX: SLIDING OF CLOTH, FOLLOWED BY BODY HITTING FLOOR.

TEACHER

Are you all right?

HAMM'S DAD

Yeah. Car wax on my pants. Go ahead. I'll just sit down here.

TEACHER

Well...

HAMM'S DAD

Whoa! Check out all the gum under the desks.

TEACHER

As I mentioned on the phone, I'm very disappointed in your son Worthington.

HAMM'S DAD

Who? Oh, you mean Hamm.

TEACHER

(uncomfortable with the nickname)

Yes, Hamm. I expect foolish juvenile behavior from some of the others in class, but not, um, Hamm. It's distressing. He's been acting like a child.

HAMM'S DAD

(a bit terse)

Hamm!

NOTE: YOUNG HAMM speaks with the exact same accent as HAMM. He is frustrated that no one believes him.

YOUNG HAMM

But, Dad, I am a child. I'm eight years old.

TEACHER

Yes, but you're obviously a very sophisticated eight years old.

YOUNG HAMM

Nuh-uh. I just talk this way.

TEACHER

I know. You're trying to fit in, not make the other children feel bad by hiding your intelligence.

YOUNG HAMM

I'm just an eight-year-old kid. I think bugger jokes are really funny.I can't tie my shoelaces. The color orange confuses me.

TEACHER

Perhaps Hamm is bored in class. If a child isn't intellectually stimulated, that can happen. I was considering making a recommendation that he be advanced to a higher grade.

YOUNG HAMM

What?

TEACHER

He'd be in with older children, ones at a higher level.

HAMM'S DAD

You mean taller?

TEACHER

(laughs)

No.

(but, the more she thinks about it)

Well, yes, but I specifically meant more intelligent.

YOUNG HAMM

What are you talking about? I'm in third grade and can't count past 14.

TEACHER

He does talk so eloquently, doesn't he?

HAMM'S DAD

(chewing)

Um, is that a good thing?

TEACHER

Where did you get that gum, Mr. Chesterfield?

HAMM'S DAD

Oh, from right here under the...

TEACHER

Oh! No, no, never mind. Then it's agreed?

HAMM'S DAD

Sure, whatever you say. Now, can someone help me up? I think I'm sitting on a glue stick.

OUTRO: COMEDY4CAST STUDIO

MUSIC: 'END THEME'

CLINTON

That about wraps it up for today's Odd News PAC. But first, a shout-out to the comedy4cast Patreon patrons, including our producer-level patrons, Paul Barrie, from the A Window to the Magic podcast and Kirby Bartlett-Sloan from the 20 Megabyte Doctor Who podcast. You too can support comedy4cast and get episodes before everyone else for as little as $2 a month. Just search for comedy4cast, all one word with the number 4, on patreon.com.

Lending their voices in this episode were Bonnie Kenderdine and Nathan Alvord. Additional voices, story, and original music by me, Clinton Alvord, Copyright 2025. All rights reserved.

Talk to you again next time! But for now, that's it. We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye bye!

MUSIC: 'END THEME' UP AND OUT.

-- THE END --