comedy4cast #842

"It's Coffee Break Time"

Written by

Clinton Alvord

CAST

(in order of appearance, where possible, otherwise by actor)

ID ANNOUNCER.......................COMPUTER
CLINTON

DR. MALCOLM EDELSTEIN...........CLINTON ALVORD

INTRO: COMEDY4CAST STUDIO

MUSIC: COMEDY4CAST NETWORK ID STING

ID ANNOUNCER

The comedy4cast network. Let's dog ear that for now.

MUSIC: ID MUSIC UP AND OUT.

CLINTON

Oh, hi! Clinton here. Welcome to the Dog Days of Pumpkin Spice Season.

MUSIC: OPENING THEME MUSIC IN AND UNDER.

CLINTON (cont'd)

Yes, August got away from me because -- life. So, this is my unofficial extension of Dog Days. For more information on that, go to dogdaysofpodcasting.com.

I always use Dog Days to give you 31 episodes full of some interesting, yet totally useless Odd News. And this year, to celebrate the Platinum Anniversary of comedy4cast, or PAC for short, I'll end each Dog Days episode with part of a classic comedy4cast episode. So, let's get started with "Odd News PAC"!

MUSIC: THEME MUSIC UP AND OUT.

SFX: TRANSITION WHOOSH.

STORY: CAFE OFFICE HOURS

CLINTON

People know that, for a change of scenery, I'll often take my Microsoft Surface and go to Dunkin' to do some writing. Maybe it's where I wrote this script. We'll never know for sure. Bagel. My setup is pretty minimal. Just the tablet computer, the keyboard and mouse and this large coffee.

But, in South Korea, people seem to have taken things a bit farther. In fact Starbucks locations there have had to implement some new rules. And not about you sucking it up and just accepting the fact that they got your name wrong.

The Starbucks chain has posted notices at all of its South Korean branches that customers will no longer be allowed to set up their computers inside the store.

Now, they're not talking about small laptops computers or tablets. Those are still allowed. This policy is directed at a group of customers known as "cagongjok" (KANGON-jok), a term that combines the Korean words for "cafe," "study" and "tribe."

These cafe squatters are customers who spend several hours studying or doing office work while sitting in the coffee shop. That is, after they've plugged in one or two multi-outlet power strips, a desktop computer, a 32-inch monitor and a printer. What? No camera and ring light for streaming? Not that I know of. But some people do bring partitions. And sometimes they leave their stuff unattended for long stretches. Maybe they're taking a meeting in a Starbucks down the block. Wow. About the only thing this place needs to be a real office is a cafeteria!

Personally, I think it's okay to spend a bit of time in a coffee shop doing some work. But when you start using their email system and saying things like "You go on home. I'll lock up when I'm done," it might be time to buy a coffee maker and spend more time working at the kitchen table.

SFX: TRANSITION WHOOSH.

CLIP: THE FUTURE OF TECH

CLINTON

And now, let's celebrate 20 years of comedy4cast with this classic clip!

Here's a clip from the August 9, 2005 episode where I spoke with noted futurist, Dr. Malcolm Edelstein about upcoming technology breakthroughs.

SFX: TRANSITION WHOOSH.

CLINTON (cont'd)

Tell us, Dr. Edelstein, what technological breakthroughs do you see happening in the next year?

DR. EDELSTEIN

The next big thing, the next big breakthrough will be wireless pants.

CLINTON

Excuse me?

DR. EDELSTEIN

You heard me, wireless pants. Forget the iPods and your cell phone and all that stuff. With wireless pants, it's all built right in.

CLINTON

And what exactly is the advantage of wireless pants?

DR. EDELSTEIN

How many times have you left your house, got to the office and thought, oh, I left my cell phone at home in the charger.

CLINTON

A few times.

DR. EDELSTEIN

And how many times have you got to work and said, oh, I forgot my pants. Not so many.

CLINTON

Well, that's true.

DR. EDELSTEIN

You have to think these things through. That's why I can visualize these things. I think them through. You have your music. Stereo. Very nice. Left channel out of the left pocket. Right channel out of the right pocket. Surround sound. Well, there's a booming bass from somewhere, but I'm not willing to say where that comes from.

CLINTON

Will you be able to download with the pants?

DR. EDELSTEIN

Next question.

CLINTON

Now, what about the phone?

DR. EDELSTEIN

The phone?

CLINTON

Yes. Do you talk into your pants?

DR. EDELSTEIN

What?

CLINTON

Do you talk into your pants?

DR. EDELSTEIN

Are you insane? What are people going to think if you're talking into your pants?

CLINTON

Well, I just...

DR. EDELSTEIN

Of course not. Talk into your pants. You talk into the socks.

OUTRO: COMEDY4CAST STUDIO

MUSIC: 'END THEME'

CLINTON

That about wraps it up for today's Odd News PAC. But first, a shout-out to the comedy4cast Patreon patrons, including our producer-level patrons, Paul Barrie, from the A Window to the Magic podcast and Kirby Bartlett-Sloan from the 20 Megabyte Doctor Who podcast. You too can support comedy4cast and get episodes before everyone else for as little as $2 a month. Just search for comedy4cast, all one word with the number 4, on patreon.com.

Script, voices and original music by me, Clinton Alvord, Copyright 2025. All rights reserved.

Talk to you again next time! But for now, that's it. We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye bye!

MUSIC: 'END THEME' UP AND OUT.

-- THE END --