840-Aug13

comedy4cast #840

Odd News PAC for August 13, 2025

"Repacked With Power"

Written by

Clinton Alvord

CAST

(in order of appearance, where possible, otherwise by actor)

ID ANNOUNCER

ROBOT

SYSTEM ALERT....................COMPUTER
CLINTON

HULU ANNOUNCER

DANNY HILLCREST

MYSTERIOUS STRANGER............CLINTON ALVORD

INTRO: COMEDY4CAST STUDIO

MUSIC: COMEDY4CAST NETWORK ID STING

ID ANNOUNCER

The comedy4cast network. Let's dog ear that for now.

MUSIC: ID MUSIC UP AND OUT.

MUSIC: OPENING THEME MUSIC IN AND UNDER.

CLINTON

It's time, once again, for the Dog Days of Podcasting, a call for podcasters to try to put out a podcast every day in August. For more information and to hear all the shows, go to dogdaysofpodcasting.com.

We always take this month to provide you with some interesting, yet totally useless Odd News. And this year, to celebrate the Platinum Anniversary of comedy4cast, or PAC for short, we'll end each Dog Days episode with part of a classic comedy4cast episode. So, let's get started with "Odd News PAC"!

MUSIC: THEME MUSIC UP AND OUT.

SFX: TRANSITION WHOOSH.

STORY: RUNAWAY ROBOT

CLINTON

Batteries. They always seem to be running out of power. If you have a cell phone, that can be super annoying. On the other hand, if you're being chased by a killer humanoid robot...

SFX: RUNNING FEET.

SFX: METAL RUNNING FEET.

SFX: PANTING OF RUNNER.

ROBOT

Eliminate the humans.

CLINTON

You REALLY want that thing to run out of power. And, up until now, you'd have a good shot at making it happen. Again, because batteries only last so long.

But, recently, UB Tech Robotics introduced a walking robot that's changing all that. No, it doesn't come with the world's longest extension cord. Instead, the Walker S2 robot can swap out its own battery.

Honestly, e should have seen this one coming.

For some reason, the battery slides out of the back of the robot, perhaps just for the creepiness factor. Because the robot has to contort its arms around in a very non-human way to pull out the power pack and swap in a new one. It looks like something out of John Carpenter's "The Thing" when it does this.

UB Tech Robotics says that the replacement only takes a rew minutes to complete and ensures that the robot can work continuously, for as long as it has replacement batteries available.

Ah ha! We've found its weakness! They haven't taught it how to plug a battery into a recharger. That seems to be a bit of an oversight, if you ask me. But we'll take it.

Oh, and come to think of it, there's another flaw in this design. So the scenario plays out like this:

SFX: RUNNING FEET.

SFX: METAL RUNNING FEET.

SFX: PANTING OF RUNNER.

ROBOT

Eliminate the humans. Eliminate the...

SFX: BEEPING.

COMPUTER

Battery power low. Change power cell.

SFX: METAL RUNNING FEET STOP.

ROBOT

Whoa! Hold up a minute, human.

SFX: AFTER A BEAT, RUNNING FEET STOP.

SFX: PANTING CONTINUES, BUT QUIETER.

ROBOT (cont'd)

Listen, I have to go back to where I store my spare batteries. And it's...Phew. It's way back there, isn't it. I'm not sure I'm gonna make it. Listen, could I trouble you for a lift home?

SFX: TRANSITION WHOOSH.

CLIP: BACKING UP TOO FAR

CLINTON

And now, let's celebrate 20 years of comedy4cast with this classic clip!

In this clip, from November of 2011, Danny Hillcrest wants to back up a video, but he may have taken things a bit too far. By the way, I'll have a link to a drawing mentioned in the episode over in the show notes for this episode, "Repacked With Power". You can tell us if YOU think it is by calling the Super Secret Phone Line, at area code 213-290-4451. That 213-290-4451. And we may play your message on the show.

SFX: TRANSITION WHOOSH.

DANNY

So I transferred the video straight directly onto a hard drive as an MPEG file And an MP4 file And to be extra safe, QuickTime And Windows Media And that Real Player thing And that format Google wants everyone to use.

CLINTON

WebM.

DANNY

No, I don't think doctors have their own format. And wouldn't that be in Latin?

CLINTON

Not WebMD, WebM.

DANNY

But then I thought what if there's a fire? Or I drop the drive? Or a mountain lion hits it with a cricket wicket? So, I decided to back up the video straight up to the cloud with Dropbox. But then I thought, what if Dropbox drops one too many times and something breaks? So, I backed it up with Mosey. And Carbonite. And I started on iCloud, and Amazon Cloud Drive, and even Windows Live SkyDrive. And then, I had lunch, and thought about how you never see gray beach balls. But then I thought, wait, with all this backing up to the cloud, what if my DSL connection goes out? So I got cable, and satellite internet, and fiber to the curb, which isn't really at all what I thought I imagined it would be. Which is a shame, because the idea of an endless stream of brand cereal coming into the hotel seemed like a great idea.

CLINTON

Well, that's all pretty elaborate. This must be one important video.

DANNY

Oh, it is.

CLINTON

What is it?

DANNY

It's my interview with Steven Spielberg.

CLINTON

You interviewed Steven Spielberg? When?

DANNY

Right when Jurassic Park 3: This Time It's Perpetual, came out.

CLINTON

Wow. Can I see it?

DANNY

Sure. Do you want to see it from this Sony memory stick? Or this zip drive? Or...

CLINTON

(interrupting)

Just play it!

DANNY

Okay.

SFX: CLICK OF PLAY BUTTON BEING PRESSED.

The following section should be processed to indicate it is being heard over a speaker.

HULU ANNOUNCER

The following clip is brought to you on Hulu with limited commercial interruptions by Little Wicker Baskets.

SFX: THEATER LOBBY AMBIENCE.

DANNY

Hi! Danny Hillcrest here. And I'm here at the premiere of Jurassic Park 3 Return of the Velocimeter. And with me is Steven Spielberg.

MYSTERIOUS STRANGER

Are you talking to me?

DANNY

I sure am, Mr. Spielberg. Hey, this is pretty exciting, isn't it? Do you think any of the dinosaurs will show up?

MYSTERIOUS STRANGER

Hey, look, lady.

DANNY

Man.

MYSTERIOUS STRANGER

Sorry, I...

(not sure he heard DANNY correctly)

Really? Hey, look. I ain't Steven Spielberg, all right? This isn't Hollywood, and this isn't a movie premiere. This is the Middling Fair Second Run Theater and All Night Pottery Emporium. Now give me your ticket and go inside, or I will kick your tuchus out onto the street.

DANNY

(with a wink)

Oh, right. This is where I pretend to hand you a ticket and you get a beautiful model to walk me down the red carpet.

MYSTERIOUS STRANGER

That is it. I've had it with you. Let's go, buddy.

DANNY

(voice receding as he is carted away)

This is so realistic!

SFX: CLICK OF STOP BUTTON BEING PRESSED.

End of special audio processing.

CLINTON

Um, so, why do you want to keep that?

DANNY

Hello? Steven Spielberg?

CLINTON

Danny, that is not Steven Spielberg.

DANNY

Yeah, right. He had a beard, and glasses, and that whole lack of hair on his head, and everything.

CLINTON

Danny, he is wearing an Usher's uniform.

DANNY

See? This was way before Usher. That man is always thinking about the future. Especially when it comes to dinosaurs. Like on his new TV show, Terracotta.

CLINTON

Never mind. Look, are you really going to keep all of this stuff?

DANNY

No, I think all these electronic media things are worthless. I wanted to see if you needed any of it.

CLINTON

Well, then what are you going to do for a backup?

DANNY

Oh, I had an artist turn the video into an illustration. Paper lives on. Or maybe I should have had it turned into an interpretive dance. Uh, cave painting, that's it. No, no, no. Epic poem.

CLINTON

More like epic fail poem.

DANNY

I love it!

OUTRO: COMEDY4CAST STUDIO

CLINTON

I'll have a link to a drawing mentioned in this episode over in the show notes for this episode, "Repacked With Power" at comedy4cast.com. And that's all one word with the number 4. You can tell us who you think it is by calling the Super Secret Phone Line at area code 213-290-4451. That's 213-290-4451. And we just may play your message on the show.

MUSIC: 'END THEME'

CLINTON (cont'd)

That about wraps it up for today's Odd News PAC. But first, a shout-out to the comedy4cast Patreon patrons, including our producer-level patrons, Paul Barrie, from the A Window to the Magic podcast and Kirby Bartlett-Sloan from the 20 Megabyte Doctor Who podcast. You too can support comedy4cast and get episodes before everyone else for as little as $2 a month. Just search for comedy4cast, all one word with the number 4, on patreon.com.

Talk to you again next time! But for now, that's it. We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye bye!

MUSIC: 'END THEME' UP AND OUT.

-- THE END --