comedy4cast #827
Danny's 2025 Summer Movie Previews
Written by
Clinton Alvord
CAST
(in order of appearance, where possible, otherwise by actor)
ID ANNOUNCER.......................COMPUTER
CLINTON
BUZZ "SCOOP" CRACKERJACK THOMAS
DANNY HILLCREST (plus updates)
PROMO ANNOUNCER
ANDY
TRAILER ANNOUNCER
JIMMY OLSEN
SUPERMAN/CLARK KENT
PERRY WHITE
TRAILER ANNOUNCER 2
REED RICHARDS
JOHNNY STORM
BEN GRIMM..........................CLINTON ALVORD
TAM
SUE STORM.........................BONNIE KENDERDINE
TRAILER EDITOR
CONSPIRACY GUY....................SCOTT MORRIS
INTRO: COMEDY4CAST STUDIO
MUSIC: COMEDY4CAST NETWORK ID STING
ID ANNOUNCER
The comedy4cast network. Let's dog ear that for now.
MUSIC: ID MUSIC UP AND OUT.
MUSIC: OPENING CREDITS THEME IN AND UNDER.
CLINTON
Oh, hi! Clinton here. Welcome to my show -- comedy4cast, episode 827.
It's time for a tradition here on the show. Danny Hillcrest is give us the 411 on this Summer's biggest movies. But it might be more of a case of 404: facts not found.
Enjoy the show! I'll be back a bit later.
MUSIC: OPENING CREDITS THEME UP AND OUT.
SCENE 1: TV STUDIO - NIGHT
BUZZ
(joined mid-story)
...and the elephant was completely unharmed. Which is more than can be said for the other members on the pickup basketball team.
(not happy)
And now that the feel-good story is over, sadly, it's time for Danny Hillcrest's Earful of Noise.
DANNY
Wow, Buzz! That's the nearily closest you've ever come to getting the name of my segment right! I love it. But, right now, it's time for...
MUSIC: DANNY'S HOLLYWOOD THEME IN AND UNDER.
PROMO ANNOUNCER
Danny Hillcrest's Summertime Summer 2025 Movie Preview Reviews! Sponsored by Smellz-a-Lot hand soap. Not recommended for use on living organisms.
MUSIC: THEME UP AND OUT.
BUZZ
Walloping Walter Cronkite! How are they still sponsoring you? You never watch these movies.
DANNY
And they never watch this show!
BUZZ
I am suddenly very jealous of their good fortune.
DANNY
Then let's get started!
SFX: ELABORATE WHOOSH WITH MOVIE PROJECT SOUND MIXED IN.
DANNY (cont'd)
First up on this Summertime cabana tent pole list of big budget films, is a movie inspired by SpongeBob SquarePants. Of course I mean...
SFX: BUBBLES IN AND UNDER.
(in French accent)
"28 Years Later".
SFX: BUBBLES OUT.
(back to normal)
This movie premieringly opens on June 20th, a whole two weeks before theme parks start their Halloween events. It features zombies, a killer virus, and scariest of all -- English accents without subtitles! Ooooooh.
To give you an English breakfast taste, I've created this non-clip clip.
BUZZ
Control Room. Don't you dare run that...
DANNY
Run that clip.
SFX: ELABORATE WHOOSH WITH MOVIE PROJECT SOUND MIXED IN.
SCENE 2: "28 YEARS LATER" CLIP
NOTE: sound is extra compressed to signal this is a clip.
NOTE: ANDY and TAM have horrible British accents.
SFX: SOUNDS OF NATURE.
TAM
(takes a deep breath)
You know, secluded here, it's hard to believe how the world is in shambles, Andy. I mean, it all just feels like some bonkers nightmare.
ANDY
Right you are, Tam. But I do wonder -- after all this time, has the world finally given that bugger Rage virus the royal boot into the Thames?
TAM
Egad! You're right as rainy bangers and mash. It must have. After all, it's been 28 years.
ANDY
(not sure)
Yes, about that -- has it been, Tam?
TAM
(firmly)
Yes. This, right here, now, is 28 years later than...well, than before.
ANDY
No, my dear Tam. I don't reckon so. I mean, this whole bloody business started from 2002. I remember that because I had just started my cricket lessons.
TAM
Yes. As I recall you were quite extraordinary at playing "Hail, Britannia" by rubbing your hind legs together.
ANDY
Quite. But my point is this -- 2002 was was just 23 years ago, Greenwich Mean Time.
TAM
(a bit nervous)
Now, now, Andy. Keep calm and carry a bumbershoot.
ANDY
I tell you, something is afoot - and I don't mean my feet. 23 instead of 28? Madness. Has someone gone and thrown a spanner wrench into the very scratchy wool fabric of time itself! Tam, do you remember back when it was 28 weeks later?
TAM
(more nervous)
Yes?
ANDY
(beginning to ramp up)
Well, here's the odd thing about that. That was 2007 -- a jolly good
two hundred and fifty four weeks later than 2002. And I bloody well know because I did the maths. All of them. 254 weeks?! That's like 127 fortnights. Dip that stale crumpet into your Earl Gray tea.
TAM
(trying to calm him down)
Steady on. Don't get your nickers in a bag of crisps, Andy.
ANDY
And did you know that when it was, supposedly, "28 days later" those two "AC-TORS" Cillian Murphy and Christopher Eccelston were faffing about in London while things were going pear-shaped in Sussex?
TAM
(now totally lost)
No. I don't remember anything of...
ANDY
(interrupting)
Hang on! Yes, Prime Minister, that's it! Eccelston! He's a Right-Said-Fred Time Lord. He is behind all this!
TAM
I don't think...
ANDY
(interrupting)
Oh. You fancy it could it could be Cillian, on some rum-do Barbenheimer "I am death. Destroyer of weeks" romp? No. You mark my words, Tam. As surely as Picadilly Circus, it all comes 'round to it being The Doctor right from the ready, steady, start! Oh, damn you, Russell T. Davies! You and the British BBC Corporation!
SFX: TAM'S VOICE BEGINS TO GRADUALLY SPEED UP. ALSO, AN EERIE VOCAL DOUBLING IS SLOWLY ADDED TO HIS VOICE.
ANDY (cont'd)
And if you still think I'm as mad as a haberdashery hatter, ponder this -- Eccelston once guested on an episode of that Yank Sarah Silverman's series on the telly? And what was his character name, you ask? Well, I'll tell you, I reply, Dr. Rage. Rage! Just like the virus! Blimey! It was under our stiff upper lips the whole time, Tam!
Now I must hunt down The Doctor and ferry him back to Gallifrey to face the music! And not some catchy Mersey beat skiffle tune. Oh, no.
TAM sighs with resignation.
ANDY (cont'd)
This level of skullduggery demands full-on performance by the Royal...
SFX: MULTIPLE GUNSHOTS, FOLLOWED BY A SINGULAR SHOT.
Pause.
ANDY (cont'd)
Right.
SFX: BODY SLAMS TO THE GROUND.
TAM
(sighs)
Oh, Bobby's are your uncles. Looks like that rage virus is still around.
NOTE: sound compression ends here.
SFX: ELABORATE WHOOSH WITH MOVIE PROJECT SOUND MIXED IN.
SCENE 3: TV STUDIO - NIGHT
BUZZ
Hillcrest. That's not scary. It's insipid!
DANNY
Oh, I thought it was English. My bad!
Next, on July 11th, look to the skies! Then look down because you're in a movie theater, watching the latest AD/DC reboot of the Man of Steel, Superman!
This never-before-heard non-clip clip will give you an idea what this one is all about. Probably.
SFX: ELABORATE WHOOSH WITH MOVIE PROJECT SOUND MIXED IN.
SCENE 4: SUPERMAN
NOTE: sound is extra compressed to signal this is a clip.
TRAILER ANNOUNCER 2
From Director James Gunn...
MUSIC: DRAMATIC, LOW KEY NOTES.
SFX: EXPLOSION.
SFX: CROWD CHEERS.
SFX: WIND EFFECT AND REVERSE BULLET EFFECT TO DIDICATE SUPERMAN'S ARRIVAL.
SFX: EXCITED CROWD IN BACKGROUND.
JIMMY OLSEN
Gee willikers, Superman, you saved us from that alien invasion.
SUPERMAN
Oh, it's all all in a day's work, Jimmy.
SFX: THE FOLLOWING LINE IS EQ'D TO SOUND AS IF IT IS INTERNAL DIALOGUE THAT THE AUDIENCE CAN SOMEHOW HEAR.
SUPERMAN (cont'd)
(thinking)
Now, back to the Daily Planet to write this up.
TRAILER ANNOUNCER 2
Superman saved Metropolis...
MUSIC: CONTINUATION OF SOMBER, DRAMATIC TONES, ENDING ON A MINOR NOTE.
TRAILER ANNOUNCER 2 (cont'd)
But his greatest challenge is yet to come.
PERRY WHITE
Kent, what are you doing here?
CLARK KENT
I'm just about to turn in my story on the dimension X invasion.
PERRY WHITE
Yeah. About that. Turns out the entire internet beat you to it, Kent. My intern tells me it's already a trending meme. Whatever the hell that is!
TRAILER ANNOUNCER 2
Can even the Man of Steel make a major metropolitan newspaper feel relevant in the 21st century?
MUSIC: UPBEAT FINAL NOTES.
PERRY WHITE
Oh, uh, by the way, Kent. You're fired. I need you to clear out your desk by 5. We're renting out the newsroom space as an air B and B or something.
NOTE: sound compression ends here.
SFX: ELABORATE WHOOSH WITH MOVIE PROJECT SOUND MIXED IN.
SCENE 5: TV STUDIO - NIGHT
BUZZ
Too close to home, Hillcrest.
By the way, were you ever tested for persistent cranial vacancy? Because that would answer a lot of questions about...
MUSIC: BULLETIN MUSIC IN AND UNDER.
BUZZ (cont'd)
Just a moment. We appear to have breaking news. We now go live to...Danny Hillcrest?
DANNY
Thanks, Buzz! I need to interrupt this Summer movie preview review to talk about Smelz-a-Lot hand soap.
BUZZ
Control room. What are you doing?
DANNY
Did you know that four out of five doctors agree that Smelz-a-Lot hand soap should be part of your household supplies?
BUZZ
For what? Rat bait?
DANNY
Did you sneak a look at my notes, Buzz?
And remember, always treat Smelz-a-Lot hand soap with respect. Because It has a long memory. Trust me on this one.
( cheery)
Now, back to the movies!
SFX: ELABORATE WHOOSH WITH MOVIE PROJECT SOUND MIXED IN.
DANNY (cont'd)
It's "The Fantastic Four: First Steps." With a title like that I expectingly figured this one was going to be kind of like a "Marvel Muppet Babies." But the trailer made me change my mind. And if you need changing, maybe my exclusive not-the-trailer trailer will help you!
SFX: ELABORATE WHOOSH WITH MOVIE PROJECT SOUND MIXED IN.
SCENE 6: "THE FANTASTIC FOUR: FIRST STEPS" CLIP
NOTE: sound is extra compressed to signal this is a clip.
TRAILER ANNOUNCER 2
The 1960's. A turbulent mid-century
point in history marked by political unrest, the "free love" generation and, according to the trailer for this movie, a decade plagued by an ever-present funky yellow ochre haze. It was as if, to quickly convey a by-gone time, some editing wiz simply slapped a stock Tarantino filter on all the footage.
EDITOR (OFF SCREEN)
Everyone's a critic!
SFX: RECORD SCRATCH AND PSYCHADELIC MUSIC STOPS.
TRAILER ANNOUNCER 2
But this movie isn't about some hack with access to far too many Adobe Premiere color LUTs, it's about four remarkable heroes. Let's meet them now. Starting with...
SFX: DRAMATIC WIPE.
TRAILER ANNOUNCER 2 (cont'd)
Reed Richards, AKA "Mister Fantastic."
SFX: ELONGATED STRETCHING OF PLASTIC ITEM.
TRAILER ANNOUNCER 2 (cont'd)
A man with the ability to stretch himself beyond the bounds of any sense of logic. A lot like the second season of "Heroes."
SFX: TWANG OF SNAPPING RUBBER BAND.
TRAILER ANNOUNCER 2 (cont'd)
His signature catch phrase?
REED
Wow! That's a stretch!
SFX: DRAMATIC WIPE.
TRAILER ANNOUNCER 2
Next, the alliterative wife of Reed Richards, Sue Storm, AKA "The Invisible Woman."
SFX: SCI-FI EFFECT INDICATING INVISIBILITY.
TRAILER ANNOUNCER 2 (cont'd)
Her ability to disappear at will made her the inspiration for the term "Ghosting." As well as that weird "Invisible Woman" plastic model kit.
SFX: SCI-FI EFFECT INDICATING INVISIBILITY.
TRAILER ANNOUNCER 2 (cont'd)
Oh, you know the one I'm talking about. It had clear plastic skin and you could see all the guts inside. Yuck.
SUE
No guts, no glory!
SFX: DRAMATIC WIPE.
TRAILER ANNOUNCER 2
Which brings us to the somehow not alliterative brother of Sue Storm, Johnny Storm, AKA "The Human Torch."
SFX: GAS BURNER IGNITOR CLICKS SEVERAL TIMES THEN FLAME LIGHTS UP.
TRAILER ANNOUNCER 2 (cont'd)
A man with the ability to spontaneously combust.
CONSPIRACY GUY
I knew that was a real thing!
SFX: FLAME FADES OUT.
TRAILER ANNOUNCER 2
Never did his ability to "flame on" come in handier than during the 2020 Summer Olympics, when he was able to light up...
SFX: FLAME IGNITES, FOLLOWED BY THE SOUND OF FEET RUNNING ON PAVEMENT.
TRAILER ANNOUNCER 2 (cont'd)
And carry himself along the torch route.
JOHNNY
Go, me!
SFX: FLAME AND FOOTSTEPS FADE OUT.
TRAILER ANNOUNCER 2
Sadly, no one texted Johnny to tell him that the games were postponed until 2021.
JOHNNY
They ghosted me!
SFX: DRAMATIC WIPE MIXED WITH EFFECT INDICATING INVISIBILITY.
TRAILER ANNOUNCER 2
And last, but alphabetically not so much, is Ben Grimm, AKA "The Thing." A super dense superhero.
NOTE: BEN'S audio is processed in a way that indicates the character is comprised of rocks.
BEN
I rock!
SFX: AUDIENCE LAUGHS.
BEN (cont'd)
Remember, don't take me for granite.
SFX: CRICKETS.
BEN (cont'd)
Come on. They can't all be gems.
TRAILER ANNOUNCER 2
"The Thing." The hero with a moniker so bland it proves that even Marvel can run out of character names.
BEN
What did you say?!
TRAILER ANNOUNCER 2
These then, are the members of The Fantastic Four. A team that gained their powers from exposure to cosmic rays while traveling in space. A team that failed to stick the theatrical landing in 2005. And 2007. And 2015.
BEN
Grrrr.
TRAILER ANNOUNCER 2
The Fantastic Four! A team who's very name says, "That's right. We're a clique. Now go away and sit at your own lunch table, loser."
BEN
That's it. It's clobberin' time!
SFX: PUNCHES MIXED WITH ROCKS COLLIDING.
TRAILER ANNOUNCER
Oof! Not the face!
NOTE: extra compressed ends here.
SCENE 7: TV STUDIO - NIGHT
SFX: ELABORATE WHOOSH WITH MOVIE PROJECT SOUND MIXED IN.
MUSIC: NEWS ENDING THEME IN AND UNDER.
BUZZ
And that is the news. This is...
DANNY
Wait! I'm not done yet.
BUZZ
Well I am! If you want to say anything else about Summer movies, say it before the news theme ends.
DANNY
Oh. Uh.
(rushing)
The new remake of "I know what you did last Summer" still doesn't know what I did. No one must ever know!
BUZZ
You're running out of time, Hillcrest.
DANNY
(now in the sped-up zone)
"The Naked Gun" continues in a reboot that's a sequel to a movie franchise that started as a TV series. I have a whole bulletin board full of red string about it. That! That's what I did last summer!
BUZZ
Faster!
DANNY
There's a movie called "F1" coming out? Why not. If they can makingly do one about emojies, why not one about a key on your keyboard?
BUZZ
You're not going to make it.
DANNY
There's another "Smurfs" movie! Why the Smurf are they Smurfingly doing this to us?!
And both "Freakier Friday" and "Jurassic World Rebirth" asks the same question...
MUSIC: NEWS END THEME ENDS.
DANNY (cont'd)
"How is any of this getting us back into theaters?"
OUTRO: COMEDY4CAST STUDIO
MUSIC: END THEME IN AND UNDER.
CLINTON
Disclaimer, in case you hadn't already guessed it, Danny rarely sees the movies he previews or reviews. He gets all his information from movie trailers. So his information is usually way off. Although, there have been times when...
But that's a story for another episode. In this episode, the parts of Tam and Sue Storm were played by Bonnie Kenderdine and the parts of the Editor and the Conspiracy Guy were played by Scott Morris of the Disney, Indiana podcast, at disneyindiana.com.
Additional voices, as well as story and music are by me, Clinton Alvord. Copyright 2025. All rights reserved.
A word about our next episode in a moment. But first, a shout out to the comedy4cast Patreon patrons, including our Producer-level patron, Paul Barrie, from the "A Window To The Magic" podcast at windowtothemagic.com. You can support the show, and get episodes before everyone else for as little as $2 a month. Just go to Patreon and search for "comedy4cast." That's all one word with the number 4.
In our next episode, Lenny Treetop is back with what he describes as "a whole new podcasting format". Interesting. But for now, that's it. We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye bye.
MUSIC: UP AND PLAYS THROUGH TO END.
--- the end ---