The comedy4cast Network. Let's dog ear that for now.
Oh hi, Clinton here. Welcome to the Dog Days of Pumpkin Spice Season.
Yes, August got away from me because life. So this is my unofficial extension of Dog Days.
For more information on that, go to dogdaysofpodcasting.com.
I always use Dog Days to give you 31 episodes full of some interesting,
yet totally useless, odd news.
And this year, to celebrate the platinum anniversary of comedy4cast,
or PAC for short, I'll end each Dog Days episode with part of a classic comedy4cast
episode. So, let's get started with...
Odd News PAC!
The sleepy community of Cape May, New Jersey. located along the Jersey coastline,
presumably between Cape April and Cape June.
It's America's original seaside resort and boasts that it has the largest concentration
of Victorian architecture in the U.S.
It has over 600 Victorian-style buildings. It's all very whimsical and a fun
look back at another time.
Also, I'm guessing it's a ghost hunter's paradise.
So it's disheartening that in a location filled with such fanciful things,
a mysterious crime has occurred.
It took place at the Ocean Putt Golf, a miniature golf course that gets 4.3
filled-in circles on TripAdvisor.
Sometime in the dead of night, when Victorian-era ghosts come out to play...
Uh, I don't know. Jenga? Can they hold Jenga blocks? Can they yell Jenga? Where was I? Oh, right.
Ocean Putt Golf. At 4 a.m., two men broke in by climbing over the fence,
which proves it wasn't ghosts, because if it were Victorian-era ghosts,
they would have just walked through the fence, yet not fallen through the ground
to the center of the earth.
Go figure. The two men walked over to one of the cartoon statues that decorated the course.
They grabbed it, shook it back
and forth until it came free of its foundation, then spirited it away.
I mean, humaned it away. After all, we've already ruled out ghosts,
right? The statue was found several lots over.
Its top hat and one of its hands had been broken off by the thieves.
So far, police are baffled, which means we're left to ask who would have wanted
to do this to the statue of humble, lovable, nursery rhyme character Humpty
Dumpty. Well, what are some things we know about Mr. H. Dumpty?
We don't know exactly when the rhyme was written, but we do know that in 1868,
American actor and dancer George L.
Fox first performed his very successful pantomime of Humpty Dumpty on Broadway.
In fact, it became his signature character.
This tune to the rhyme was first published in 1870, And in 1871,
Humpty appeared in Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland, cementing the look of
the character as a giant egg with pants, even though the rhyme never mentions he's an egg.
Or that he has pants. Wait a second. When was the Victorian era here in the
U.S.? The 1860s to around 1900. And all those events fit into that time period.
Well, I apologize. I was wrong. Apparently it was ghosts.
Victorian-era ghosts who were upset that the statue of Humpty had never had a great fall.
Ghosts are such jerks.
And now, let's celebrate 20 years of Comedy Forecast with this classic clip.
On an episode released in 2014, I had fellow podcaster John Bell read a script
I had written about a certain type of YouTube reaction video. Here's the clip.
We've all seen those YouTube videos of kids reacting to out-of-date technology
like the Walkman and the Rotary Telephone.
Say what? An old-fashioned telephone. A telephone? How does this even work? Aren't they adorable?
And how about the ones where teenagers react to Nirvana?
Did I miss something out of that? Like, am I supposed to be like,
wow, that was so profound? I've never been more confused for a music video in my life.
Adorable. And don't forget elders reacting to the song Selfie.
But first, let me take a selfie.
Selfie, that's a new word. But why stop there?
That's right. We've decided to take this thing to a whole new level with elders
commenting on kids reacting to technology.
Do you know how to use a rotary phone to make a phone? It's a phone,
you dummy. Your dial with it.
Now, Chester, remember your blood pressure. I have no idea how they work.
But they are kind of stupid.
Or how about teens reacting to elders complaining about kids reacting to technology?
Use a rotary phone to make a phone run. It's a phone, you dummy. They're like so bitter.
And they dress like the 1800s or something.
Yep. We're riding this gravy train all the way to Prophet Province in Cash
County with kids reacting to elders commenting on teens watching kids reacting
to elders complaining about technology.
Phone, you dummy. Why is everyone talking at once?
This is scary. Can I go outside and play? Not yet. Because we just figured out
a new way to milk more Big Buck buckets of money from this digital cow.
Announcing dogs reacting to cat videos.
But why can't I go outside and play? Because we need you to be a part of teens
react to kids watching llamas react to dogs watching cat videos.
That doesn't even make any sense. It doesn't matter.
There's an audience somewhere out there for them. Oh, how about elders react
to lab rats watching An American Tail?
I don't have a clue what they're doing.
Neither do we, but we'll keep doing it because you keep watching it.
How about sharks react to income tax forms?
Or the square root of 12 reacts to lawn furniture while watching Igneous Rock react to Shakespeare?
Subscribe today!
That about wraps it up for today's Odd News PAC.
But first, a shout-out to the comedy4cast Patreon patrons,
including our producer-level patrons, Paul Barrie from the A Window to the Magic
podcast and Kirby Bartlett-Sloan from the 20-megabyte Doctor Who podcast.
You, too, can support comedy4cast and get episodes before everyone else
for as little as $2 a month.
Just search for comedy4cast, all one word with the number four, on Patreon.com.
Lending their voices in this episode were John Bell, Bonnie Kanderdine, and Nathan Alvord.
Additional voices, as well as script and original music by me,
Clinton Alvord. Copyright 2025.
All rights reserved. Talk to you again next time. But for now,
that's it. We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye-bye.