The comedy4cast Network. Let's dog-ear that for now.
Oh, hi! Clinton here. Welcome to the Dog Days of Pumpkin Spice Season.
Yes, August got away from me because life. So this is my unofficial extension of Dog Days.
For more information on that, go to dogdaysofpodcasting.com.
I always use Dog Days to give you 31 episodes full of some interesting,
yet totally useless, odd news.
And this year, to celebrate the platinum anniversary of comedy4cast,
or PAC for short, I'll end each Dog Days episode with part of a classic comedy4cast episode.
So let's get started with Odd News PAC!
The price of a cup of coffee. It's a pretty common way for marketers to talk
about the price of something they want you to buy.
They have you equate it with something you buy all the time.
You probably pay that much for a cup of coffee. But you have to be careful.
What cup of coffee are they talking about? One from your local coffee shop? A diner?
Because if not, if what they're talking about is a cup of coffee from Dubai's
Roasters Gourmet Coffee Shop, you might want to hold onto that wallet of yours.
Or your purse. Okay, fine, your tap-to-pay app.
Because recently, at Roaster's flagship location on Boulevard Downtown Dubai,
a staff member had the nerve-wracking responsibility of preparing and pouring
a rather costly cup of java made from Panamanian geisha beans.
You've never heard of those? I'm not surprised.
They're from the world-renowned Hacienda La Esmeralda in Panama and are some
of the world's finest and rarest coffee beans—
But there simply isn't that much of it grown each year. And if you want some
of the freshest Panamanian geisha beans, well, pack your bags.
Because Dubai Roasters purchased the entire 20-kilogram lot during the Best
of Panama 2025 auction held earlier this fall, at the cost equivalent of $604,000.
I hope that included free shipping. But I digress.
Back to the price of a cup of coffee. For this particular cup of coffee,
the Panamanian geisha beans were brewed using the V60 method,
which, I know, sounds like they put it into a hot rod engine, but no.
It means the barista slowly poured heated hot water over the beans that had
been ground and placed inside a cone-shaped filter.
The barista varied the pour speed to regulate the release of bean flavor, as one tends to do.
Of course, that's after they had run steaming hot water through the paper filter
to remove any residue that could have affected the flavor of the coffee.
And who out there isn't tired of doing that exact same thing every morning with
a good old home coffee maker?
Am I right? The coffee was then poured into a handcrafted Ido Kiriko crystal glass from Japan.
There were some kanji symbols on the cup, which probably translated as,
I hate Mondays. But I digress.
Again. I probably need some coffee. But what was the price of this cup of coffee.
Was it more than a cocoa mocha ice signature latte from Dunkin'?
A Starbucks Vente pistachio latte with a shot of espresso?
Well, just a bit. The cup of Panamanian geisha coffee came in at 2,500 dirhmas, or in U.S.
Dollars, a paltry $680.
So, if that's what the marketer thinks you pay for a cup of coffee,
you can't afford whatever it is they're selling.
But hang on, we're not quite done.
Because, oddly enough, another Dubai cafe was at the same Best of Panama 2025 auction.
Now, sure, they couldn't snap up those Panamanian geisha beans.
That upstart Roaster's cafe took them all. So, they did the next best thing.
They bought the entire lot of Nido 7 geisha coffee beans. a washed varietal
bean that just so happened to have scored the highest judged rating ever, 98 points out of 100.
And now, Jullith, the Dubai cafe that purchased the beans, has put Nido 7 Geisha
on their menu. And you can have a cup for the low, low price of $980.
But that's okay. No, really, it is. Because after all, it's no more than just
the price of a cup of coffee.
And now, let's celebrate 20 years of comedy forecast with this classic clip.
This clip is from an episode released in June of 2013.
It's an advertisement for products.
Attention. Men over 40, women over 50, and men over 60. Be honest and answer
this one simple question.
Have you lost that? Are you finding it harder to?
Does it seem like you can't, even though you used to?
It's a known fact that as men get older, women lose more than 90% of their reserves.
But now, you don't have to. Thanks to a revolutionary new breakthrough in time-tested
homeopathic remedies, you can have it again.
That's right. Never again be saddled with.
Go to bed or wake up feeling.
These all natural products are. And the FDA.
And as part of a special promotion, we're giving away free 90-day supplies.
You just pay. Sound too good to be true? Don't wait another minute.
One simple call is all you need. Operators are standing by to take. Call 1-800-555-6789.
That's 1-800-555-6789. And if you call, we'll double your order.
That's like getting twice as much. You just pay separate.
Call 1-800-555-6789. That's 1-800-555-6789.
Once again, 1-800-555-6789. Stop feeling. Call today.
That about wraps it up for today's Odd News PAC.
But first, a shout out to the comedy4cast Patreon patrons,
including our producer-level patrons, Paul Barrie from the A Window to the Magic
podcast and Kirby Bartlett-Sloan from the 20-megabyte Doctor Who podcast.
You too can support comedy4cast
and get episodes before everyone else for as little as $2 a month.
Just search for comedy4cast, all one word with the number 4, on Patreon.com.
Script, voices, and original music by me, Clinton Alvord, copyright 2025, all rights reserved.
Talk to you again next time. But for now, that's it. We're done,
done, done, done, done. Bye-bye.