The comedy4cast Network. Let's dog ear that for now.
Oh hi, Clinton here. Welcome to the Dog Days of Pumpkin Spice Season.
Yes, August got away from me because life. So this is my unofficial extension of Dog Days.
For more information on that, go to dogdaysofpodcasting.com.
I always use Dog Days to give you 31 episodes full of some interesting,
yet totally useless, odd news.
And this year, to celebrate the Platinum Anniversary of comedy4cast,
or PAC for short, I'll end each Dog Days episode with part of a classic comedy4cast episode.
So, let's get started with...
Odd News PAC!
In the world of competitions, there are all types of champions.
Baseball, chess, breakfast of, spelling, hot dog eating, jeopardy.
And music is no exception.
For instance, there's American Idol, and Australian Idol, and Greek Idol,
Indonesian Idol, Macedonian Idol, Idol Puerto Rico, Deutschland sucht in Superstar.
You get the idea. But there may be one world championship that you have never heard of.
The prize is being crowned the best in the world at this particular skill.
And it's something you may think you're pretty good at.
It's air guitar. You heard me. Air guitar.
And at this year's championship, held in Oulu, Finland, Finnish native Aapo
the Angus Rautio brought the crown, or pick, back to the land of a thousand
lakes for the first time since the year 2000.
Hang on, you say. That's great for Aapo, but what makes him better than me at
air guitar? Well, first of all, Aapo competed against contestants from 13 countries
in the grueling three-day event.
Contestants are judged on the performance of two songs in two separate rounds.
But don't think you can just burst into your well-rehearsed epic AfterLife licks
or sizzle with All Along the Watchtower.
Nay, nay. You're limited to 60 seconds.
And although you can pick the first song, the second one is chosen for you.
And that may very well be the pick of destiny.
But the competition is quite fair when it comes to the axe you want to grind.
You can use an electric or acoustic air guitar.
Or both. And passion is an absolute must. Props and costumes are allowed.
But backup bands and real instruments are off limits.
I mean, come on. Do you want to win this thing or not? The winner is chosen
by a five-member jury of performing arts professionals. and they can spot a
real guitar from miles away.
The Air Guitar World Championship was first held in 1996.
Organizers state that, according to the competition ideology.
Wars will end, climate change will stop, and all bad things will vanish when
all the people in the world play air guitar. Well, party on, dudes.
This year's grueling two-hour finals pit last year's winner,
Canada's Zachary Ichabod Fame Knowles, against eight national champions and
seven contenders who emerged from the qualifying rounds.
The challengers included U.S.
Champion Saladin six-string Sal Thomas and German champion Patrick van Airhoven- Culek.
Contestants are judged on the performance of the two songs on a scale of 4.0
to 6.0. I guess that scale got a bit messed up in the translation from Finnish.
It must be metric or something.
The jury takes into account originality, the ability to be taken over by the
music, stage presence, technical merit, artistic impression, and airness.
And what do they win? Why, an actual guitar, of course!
And now, let's hear a bit of the winning performance by Aapo the Angus Rautio.
Okay, that's enough. We don't want to play the whole thing. And now,
let's celebrate 20 years of comedy4cast with this classic clip.
In this clip from 2008, we hear Jess Krazier give out some of his very questionable
financial advice during his call-in talk show. Take it away, Jess.
You're up! Yes, hello, Jess.
Long-time listener, first-time caller. Yeah, and I'm a first-time and last-time listener. What's up?
Um, interest rates just keep falling. I know! It's crazy, isn't it?
Yes. It's like that bear in those cartoons.
That bear that keeps falling and falling over the cliff after he misses catching that bird.
What's his name? What's that bear's name? Uh, Wile E. Coyote? Yes! That's it!
So, what's your question? Um, how can I be sure I'm getting the best rate possible
on my money? That's a great question.
Oh, well, thank you. To get the best rate on your money, charge everything to
your charge cards. Really?
What? You think I'm kidding?
Well, it's just that I- Look, bank interest rates are falling to what?
1%, half a percent? With credit cards, you can still get interest rates as high as 24% or higher.
It's like they're totally out of touch with reality or something.
You've got to get in on that before they come to their senses. Goodbye. Good luck.
Next caller, you're up on Money Talks with me, Jess Crazier.
Hello, Jess. I was just wondering, should I keep holding on to my stocks or sell them?
Now, when you say holding on to your stocks, do you actually mean that you have
them in your hand? Are you actually clutching them in your fist,
holding them right out in front of you like J.
Jonah Jameson holding a copy of a rival's newspaper when they get a scoop picture
of Spider-Man? Well, no.
Good, because that would be kind of weird. So what about my stocks?
Should I hold them or sell them? Well, Jonah, may I call you Jonah?
That really depends. If you think your stock has hit its very top price,
you want to hold on to it. Do you understand?
Top price, hold on to your stock.
Chances are they're overpriced and absolutely no one is going to be interested in that.
On the other hand, if your stock has hit rock bottom, sell it.
That's when people will be interested. Really? Come on, everybody loves a bargain.
But I've always heard buy low, sell high.
And I always heard that the hills are alive with the sound of music.
But I went up a hill and you know what I heard?
Whew, that's what I heard. But some of my stocks are in the auto industry.
What'll happen if one of the Detroit car manufacturers fails?
Well, it's interesting you should mention that. I think people will be very,
very upset about the loss of jobs, and they'll lament the death of an industry,
even though they probably haven't bought a Ford, Chrysler, or Chevy since 1971.
How the heck did you get two questions in, anyway? Goodbye, good luck. Next caller, you're up.
Don't yell at me. Why would I yell at you? You just seem so... so angry. Do I?
Is that really the way I come across? Yes! Okay.
Well then, let me calm down, relax, and put a smile on my face while I hang up on you!
That about wraps it up for today's Odd News Pack.
But first, a shout-out to the comedy4cast Patreon patrons,
including our producer-level patrons Paul Barrie from the A Window to the Magic
podcast and Kirby Bartlett-Sloan from the 20-megabyte Doctor Who podcast.
You too can support comedy4cast
and get episodes before everyone else for as little as $2 a month.
Just search for comedy4cast, all one word with the number 4, on Patreon.com.
Script, voices, and original music by me, Clinton Alvord. Copyright 2025.
All rights reserved. Talk to you again next time. But for now,
that's it. We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye-bye.