1 00:00:00,740 --> 00:00:05,220 The comedy4cast Network. Let's dog ear that for now. 2 00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:13,460 Oh hi, Clinton here. Welcome to the Dog Days of Pumpkin Spice Season. 3 00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:20,520 Yes, August got away from me because life. So this is my unofficial extension of Dog Days. 4 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:25,260 For more information on that, go to dogdaysofpodcasting.com. 5 00:00:25,260 --> 00:00:30,020 I always use Dog Days to give you 31 episodes full of some interesting, 6 00:00:30,300 --> 00:00:32,780 yet totally useless, odd news. 7 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:37,100 And this year, to celebrate the Platinum Anniversary of comedy4cast, 8 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:44,060 or PAC for short, I'll end each Dog Days episode with part of a classic comedy4cast episode. 9 00:00:44,299 --> 00:00:46,720 So, let's get started with... 10 00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:48,720 Odd News PAC! 11 00:00:49,540 --> 00:00:53,300 In the world of competitions, there are all types of champions. 12 00:00:53,300 --> 00:00:58,780 Baseball, chess, breakfast of, spelling, hot dog eating, jeopardy. 13 00:00:58,980 --> 00:01:01,220 And music is no exception. 14 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:05,440 For instance, there's American Idol, and Australian Idol, and Greek Idol, 15 00:01:05,740 --> 00:01:11,540 Indonesian Idol, Macedonian Idol, Idol Puerto Rico, Deutschland sucht in Superstar. 16 00:01:11,740 --> 00:01:17,120 You get the idea. But there may be one world championship that you have never heard of. 17 00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:21,560 The prize is being crowned the best in the world at this particular skill. 18 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:24,599 And it's something you may think you're pretty good at. 19 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:28,900 It's air guitar. You heard me. Air guitar. 20 00:01:29,380 --> 00:01:34,780 And at this year's championship, held in Oulu, Finland, Finnish native Aapo 21 00:01:34,780 --> 00:01:40,440 the Angus Rautio brought the crown, or pick, back to the land of a thousand 22 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:43,300 lakes for the first time since the year 2000. 23 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:48,580 Hang on, you say. That's great for Aapo, but what makes him better than me at 24 00:01:48,580 --> 00:01:54,180 air guitar? Well, first of all, Aapo competed against contestants from 13 countries 25 00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:55,760 in the grueling three-day event. 26 00:01:56,120 --> 00:02:00,460 Contestants are judged on the performance of two songs in two separate rounds. 27 00:02:00,500 --> 00:02:05,100 But don't think you can just burst into your well-rehearsed epic AfterLife licks 28 00:02:05,100 --> 00:02:07,760 or sizzle with All Along the Watchtower. 29 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:11,540 Nay, nay. You're limited to 60 seconds. 30 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:16,260 And although you can pick the first song, the second one is chosen for you. 31 00:02:16,260 --> 00:02:19,740 And that may very well be the pick of destiny. 32 00:02:20,020 --> 00:02:23,820 But the competition is quite fair when it comes to the axe you want to grind. 33 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,940 You can use an electric or acoustic air guitar. 34 00:02:27,199 --> 00:02:32,840 Or both. And passion is an absolute must. Props and costumes are allowed. 35 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:36,460 But backup bands and real instruments are off limits. 36 00:02:36,699 --> 00:02:40,400 I mean, come on. Do you want to win this thing or not? The winner is chosen 37 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:45,080 by a five-member jury of performing arts professionals. and they can spot a 38 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:47,120 real guitar from miles away. 39 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:51,840 The Air Guitar World Championship was first held in 1996. 40 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:55,740 Organizers state that, according to the competition ideology. 41 00:02:56,480 --> 00:03:01,580 Wars will end, climate change will stop, and all bad things will vanish when 42 00:03:01,580 --> 00:03:06,880 all the people in the world play air guitar. Well, party on, dudes. 43 00:03:07,530 --> 00:03:10,970 This year's grueling two-hour finals pit last year's winner, 44 00:03:11,390 --> 00:03:16,270 Canada's Zachary Ichabod Fame Knowles, against eight national champions and 45 00:03:16,270 --> 00:03:19,430 seven contenders who emerged from the qualifying rounds. 46 00:03:19,730 --> 00:03:21,550 The challengers included U.S. 47 00:03:21,870 --> 00:03:27,910 Champion Saladin six-string Sal Thomas and German champion Patrick van Airhoven- Culek. 48 00:03:28,070 --> 00:03:32,930 Contestants are judged on the performance of the two songs on a scale of 4.0 49 00:03:32,930 --> 00:03:38,610 to 6.0. I guess that scale got a bit messed up in the translation from Finnish. 50 00:03:38,770 --> 00:03:40,170 It must be metric or something. 51 00:03:40,430 --> 00:03:45,170 The jury takes into account originality, the ability to be taken over by the 52 00:03:45,170 --> 00:03:51,170 music, stage presence, technical merit, artistic impression, and airness. 53 00:03:51,510 --> 00:03:55,230 And what do they win? Why, an actual guitar, of course! 54 00:03:55,590 --> 00:04:01,190 And now, let's hear a bit of the winning performance by Aapo the Angus Rautio. 55 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:09,680 Okay, that's enough. We don't want to play the whole thing. And now, 56 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:14,500 let's celebrate 20 years of comedy4cast with this classic clip. 57 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:20,420 In this clip from 2008, we hear Jess Krazier give out some of his very questionable 58 00:04:20,420 --> 00:04:24,720 financial advice during his call-in talk show. Take it away, Jess. 59 00:04:25,820 --> 00:04:28,520 You're up! Yes, hello, Jess. 60 00:04:28,860 --> 00:04:35,100 Long-time listener, first-time caller. Yeah, and I'm a first-time and last-time listener. What's up? 61 00:04:35,399 --> 00:04:40,480 Um, interest rates just keep falling. I know! It's crazy, isn't it? 62 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,080 Yes. It's like that bear in those cartoons. 63 00:04:43,420 --> 00:04:48,160 That bear that keeps falling and falling over the cliff after he misses catching that bird. 64 00:04:48,620 --> 00:04:55,440 What's his name? What's that bear's name? Uh, Wile E. Coyote? Yes! That's it! 65 00:04:55,800 --> 00:05:00,620 So, what's your question? Um, how can I be sure I'm getting the best rate possible 66 00:05:00,620 --> 00:05:04,080 on my money? That's a great question. 67 00:05:04,399 --> 00:05:09,520 Oh, well, thank you. To get the best rate on your money, charge everything to 68 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:11,320 your charge cards. Really? 69 00:05:11,620 --> 00:05:13,460 What? You think I'm kidding? 70 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:17,240 Well, it's just that I- Look, bank interest rates are falling to what? 71 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:25,680 1%, half a percent? With credit cards, you can still get interest rates as high as 24% or higher. 72 00:05:26,330 --> 00:05:29,330 It's like they're totally out of touch with reality or something. 73 00:05:29,750 --> 00:05:33,810 You've got to get in on that before they come to their senses. Goodbye. Good luck. 74 00:05:34,190 --> 00:05:38,050 Next caller, you're up on Money Talks with me, Jess Crazier. 75 00:05:38,290 --> 00:05:44,470 Hello, Jess. I was just wondering, should I keep holding on to my stocks or sell them? 76 00:05:44,630 --> 00:05:49,330 Now, when you say holding on to your stocks, do you actually mean that you have 77 00:05:49,330 --> 00:05:52,630 them in your hand? Are you actually clutching them in your fist, 78 00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:54,850 holding them right out in front of you like J. 79 00:05:54,970 --> 00:05:59,029 Jonah Jameson holding a copy of a rival's newspaper when they get a scoop picture 80 00:05:59,029 --> 00:06:01,490 of Spider-Man? Well, no. 81 00:06:01,990 --> 00:06:05,970 Good, because that would be kind of weird. So what about my stocks? 82 00:06:06,270 --> 00:06:10,830 Should I hold them or sell them? Well, Jonah, may I call you Jonah? 83 00:06:11,170 --> 00:06:15,649 That really depends. If you think your stock has hit its very top price, 84 00:06:15,870 --> 00:06:18,310 you want to hold on to it. Do you understand? 85 00:06:18,589 --> 00:06:20,890 Top price, hold on to your stock. 86 00:06:21,350 --> 00:06:25,490 Chances are they're overpriced and absolutely no one is going to be interested in that. 87 00:06:25,670 --> 00:06:29,790 On the other hand, if your stock has hit rock bottom, sell it. 88 00:06:30,470 --> 00:06:35,930 That's when people will be interested. Really? Come on, everybody loves a bargain. 89 00:06:36,210 --> 00:06:39,410 But I've always heard buy low, sell high. 90 00:06:39,630 --> 00:06:43,030 And I always heard that the hills are alive with the sound of music. 91 00:06:43,210 --> 00:06:45,750 But I went up a hill and you know what I heard? 92 00:06:47,050 --> 00:06:51,570 Whew, that's what I heard. But some of my stocks are in the auto industry. 93 00:06:52,050 --> 00:06:55,510 What'll happen if one of the Detroit car manufacturers fails? 94 00:06:55,930 --> 00:06:59,550 Well, it's interesting you should mention that. I think people will be very, 95 00:06:59,990 --> 00:07:04,330 very upset about the loss of jobs, and they'll lament the death of an industry, 96 00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:08,710 even though they probably haven't bought a Ford, Chrysler, or Chevy since 1971. 97 00:07:09,550 --> 00:07:14,190 How the heck did you get two questions in, anyway? Goodbye, good luck. Next caller, you're up. 98 00:07:14,490 --> 00:07:21,150 Don't yell at me. Why would I yell at you? You just seem so... so angry. Do I? 99 00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:25,760 Is that really the way I come across? Yes! Okay. 100 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:34,060 Well then, let me calm down, relax, and put a smile on my face while I hang up on you! 101 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:39,780 That about wraps it up for today's Odd News Pack. 102 00:07:39,940 --> 00:07:43,600 But first, a shout-out to the comedy4cast Patreon patrons, 103 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:48,700 including our producer-level patrons Paul Barrie from the A Window to the Magic 104 00:07:48,700 --> 00:07:53,860 podcast and Kirby Bartlett-Sloan from the 20-megabyte Doctor Who podcast. 105 00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:56,600 You too can support comedy4cast 106 00:07:56,600 --> 00:08:01,200 and get episodes before everyone else for as little as $2 a month. 107 00:08:01,420 --> 00:08:07,640 Just search for comedy4cast, all one word with the number 4, on Patreon.com. 108 00:08:07,940 --> 00:08:13,680 Script, voices, and original music by me, Clinton Alvord. Copyright 2025. 109 00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:18,460 All rights reserved. Talk to you again next time. But for now, 110 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:21,620 that's it. We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye-bye.