1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:08,080 The comedy4cast network. Let's dog ear that for now. 2 00:00:08,933 --> 00:00:14,873 This is comedy4cast, episode 805. Not as stated on the tin. 3 00:00:16,253 --> 00:00:22,353 It's time once again for the Dog Days of Podcasting, a call for podcasters to 4 00:00:22,353 --> 00:00:25,573 try to put out a podcast every day in August. 5 00:00:25,913 --> 00:00:32,033 For more information and to hear all the shows, go to dogdaysofpodcasting.com. 6 00:00:32,353 --> 00:00:38,333 Here at the comedy4cast studios, we've been working on a new format for this year's Dog Days. 7 00:00:38,933 --> 00:00:45,273 Sure, like in years past, there will be an actual odd news story, but that's not all. 8 00:00:45,553 --> 00:00:50,453 So, let's get started with Odd News Plus. 9 00:00:51,373 --> 00:00:57,393 Here are our odd news stories for Tuesday, August 13th, 2024. 10 00:00:58,433 --> 00:01:04,393 First up, alligators and crocodiles. Both are capable of short bursts of speed, 11 00:01:04,653 --> 00:01:06,893 but which one is actually faster? 12 00:01:06,893 --> 00:01:13,853 To find out, we sent 17 lab mice to the city zoo with raw chickens to entice 13 00:01:13,853 --> 00:01:20,433 the beasts into action and stopwatches to time the reptiles as they sprinted for the food. 14 00:01:20,993 --> 00:01:27,113 Spoiler, it did not go well. Sadly, due to an error by our production assistant, 15 00:01:27,333 --> 00:01:32,533 Pauline, the instructions were inverted and a few of the mice didn't pick up on that. 16 00:01:32,533 --> 00:01:37,993 The good news is we now know that crocodiles and alligators aren't attracted 17 00:01:37,993 --> 00:01:41,753 to stopwatches and that Pauline has dyslexia. 18 00:01:42,333 --> 00:01:45,033 We're helping her find assistance. The bad news? 19 00:01:46,153 --> 00:01:47,913 Pixel, Mittens, and Peapod. 20 00:01:49,002 --> 00:01:55,342 You will be missed. Now let's get to our actual, for real, odd news story. 21 00:01:55,822 --> 00:02:01,402 If you bought a sandwich called Meat Lovers Special and there was no meat in it, would you be upset? 22 00:02:01,882 --> 00:02:07,122 Or, for some of you, if you bought the Vegetarian Special and found ham slices 23 00:02:07,122 --> 00:02:09,442 in there, would that be surprising? 24 00:02:09,962 --> 00:02:14,662 What if I said boneless chicken wings and you found bones in it? 25 00:02:15,382 --> 00:02:19,782 By the way, do you want fries with any of this, and I can upgrade that order 26 00:02:19,782 --> 00:02:21,542 to a meal for just a dollar more. 27 00:02:21,822 --> 00:02:24,482 Where was I? Oh, right, Ohio. 28 00:02:24,942 --> 00:02:27,542 The Ohio Supreme Court, to be specific. 29 00:02:28,042 --> 00:02:32,402 Because while they didn't weigh in on sandwiches, or pay for them, 30 00:02:32,622 --> 00:02:36,002 they did rule on a case involving boneless chicken wings. 31 00:02:36,662 --> 00:02:41,562 It all started eight years ago, when Michael Berkheimer and his wife and friends 32 00:02:41,562 --> 00:02:43,902 were at a chicken joint in Hamilton, Ohio. 33 00:02:44,782 --> 00:02:48,682 Berkheimer ordered boneless chicken wings with Parmesan garlic sauce. 34 00:02:49,162 --> 00:02:54,062 But while he was eating them, and presumably talking about the sorts of things 35 00:02:54,062 --> 00:02:55,702 people in Hamilton, Ohio discuss, 36 00:02:56,322 --> 00:03:00,302 like which band they most look forward to seeing at the RiversEdge concert 37 00:03:00,302 --> 00:03:04,762 series, or who scored the best deal at the Pyramid Hill Art Fair, 38 00:03:05,102 --> 00:03:09,622 he felt like a bite-sized piece of meat had gone down the wrong way. 39 00:03:10,102 --> 00:03:15,082 Three days later, Berkheimer was in a hospital emergency room where a doctor 40 00:03:15,082 --> 00:03:20,402 discovered part of a wishbone that had lodged in his throat and tore his esophagus. 41 00:03:20,762 --> 00:03:25,862 When that happened, everything he ate decided to take a little detour and exit 42 00:03:25,862 --> 00:03:29,362 through the tear, going directly into his chest cavity. 43 00:03:30,262 --> 00:03:34,722 Unsurprisingly, that led to a bacteria buildup. He had fevers, 44 00:03:34,862 --> 00:03:40,222 a heart attack, a collapsed lung, and was placed in a coma twice. 45 00:03:41,282 --> 00:03:45,122 He sued the restaurant and its suppliers, citing negligence. 46 00:03:45,362 --> 00:03:48,362 The case eventually reached the Ohio Supreme Court. 47 00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:54,502 Just recently, in a 4-3 ruling, the court ruled that consumers cannot expect 48 00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:57,982 boneless chicken wings to actually be free of bones. 49 00:03:58,482 --> 00:04:01,562 Writing for the majority, Justice Joseph T. 50 00:04:01,622 --> 00:04:07,082 Deters wrote, "...a diner reading boneless wings on a menu would no more believe 51 00:04:07,082 --> 00:04:11,502 that the restaurant was warranting the absence of bones in the items than believe 52 00:04:11,502 --> 00:04:14,222 that the items were made from chicken wings, 53 00:04:14,542 --> 00:04:21,142 just as a person eating chicken fingers would know that he had not been served fingers.". 54 00:04:21,922 --> 00:04:26,342 Ah, I'll bet the first person to have chicken fingers didn't know that. 55 00:04:27,055 --> 00:04:33,095 Hank, why the heck did you cook a chicken with fingers? You could have made a fortune. 56 00:04:33,555 --> 00:04:36,735 In the dissenting opinion, Justice Joseph P. 57 00:04:36,775 --> 00:04:42,455 Donnelly wrote, "Does anyone really believe that parents who feed their 58 00:04:42,455 --> 00:04:47,215 young children boneless wings, or chicken tenders, or chicken nuggets, 59 00:04:47,415 --> 00:04:51,215 or chicken fingers, expect bones to be in the chicken? 60 00:04:51,975 --> 00:04:57,335 Of course they don't. When they read the word boneless, they think that it means 61 00:04:57,335 --> 00:05:01,995 without bones, as do all sensible people." 62 00:05:02,335 --> 00:05:05,335 But the Ohio Supreme Court has spoken. 63 00:05:05,695 --> 00:05:12,395 So, as a public service, we suggest you proceed with caution when ordering the following items. 64 00:05:12,875 --> 00:05:14,895 Rocky Road Ice Cream. 65 00:05:15,715 --> 00:05:20,695 Welsh Rabbit. Order it by its other name, Rarebit, and you might be okay. 66 00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:28,415 Steak Diane or Beef Wellington, Baked Alaska That special crunch? 67 00:05:28,615 --> 00:05:35,615 Could be Pipeline, Pigs in a blanket, Head cheese Oddly enough, 68 00:05:35,655 --> 00:05:41,215 it's the random piece of cheese you need to watch out for there Ground beef. 69 00:05:42,695 --> 00:05:52,115 Vegetarian bacon, Egg cream Sorry, New York, you've been warned And, need we say it? hot dogs. 70 00:05:53,555 --> 00:05:58,615 And finally, during yesterday's Odd News Plus show, we introduced a segment 71 00:05:58,615 --> 00:06:04,275 called Coffee Conversations, where we slow down the pace and enjoy a cup of 72 00:06:04,275 --> 00:06:06,935 coffee while chatting about some of our recent stories. 73 00:06:07,315 --> 00:06:12,595 However, I misunderstood the concept and attempted to talk while drinking the coffee. 74 00:06:12,775 --> 00:06:18,415 My producer informed me that I should finish the coffee first, Then begin talking. 75 00:06:18,735 --> 00:06:22,475 I feel so silly. So, let's try this again. 76 00:06:23,195 --> 00:06:26,895 I've poured myself a nice big mug of Caprica coffee here. 77 00:06:27,115 --> 00:06:32,335 It should only take me about 10 minutes to finish it. And then we can get started. 78 00:06:36,135 --> 00:06:39,615 That about wraps it up for today's Odd News Plus. 79 00:06:39,895 --> 00:06:45,015 A big thanks to the comedy4cast patrons for helping make this show possible. 80 00:06:45,015 --> 00:06:51,535 Story, Voices, and Original Music by Clinton Alvord. Copyright 2024. 81 00:06:52,315 --> 00:06:57,475 All rights reserved. Talk to you next time. But for now, that's it. 82 00:06:57,595 --> 00:07:00,075 We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye-bye. 83 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:11,333 Music.