The comedy4cast network. Let's dog ear that for now.
This is the 2023 comedy4cast Podcast Spectacular, brought to you by the fantastic Patreon patrons.
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This year's original 20-chapter story is called Big Shot.
To hear it from the beginning, go to comedy4cast.com/2023.
And remember, comedy4cast is all one word, with the number 4.
Now, here's chapter 18, The Road Wearier.
Music.
Previously in our story, producer Perry J. Oshmont brought the festivities in Middling
Fair to a screeching halt with his announcement that Danny's script will,
not be filmed in Chasm Valley. You see our neighbors to the north have that
certain tax incentive old-timey Americana feel this movie needs. I'm,
sorry. With that, Oshmont hopped into a rideshare vehicle headed for the Middling Fair Airport.
As this chapter begins, it's now evening, the end of a very long, very disappointing day in Middling Fair.
In the lobby of the Venus Arms, Abby, Giles, and Cap look on as Danny Hillcrest just stares at the TV in the lobby.
This is Buzz Scoop Cracker Jack Thomas, ace investigative field reporter for the Middling Fair Courier-Times Roman Bold Italic.
It was a complete embarrassment for young Danny Hillcrush as Hollywood producer Perry
J. Ashmut yanked the proverbial rug out from under the whole town.
Wow, that is one big rug.
The glitzy mover and shaker stated filming would take place in Canada and not Middling Fair.
If there is any bright side to this story, it's that the Low Channel, the people actually
funding this film, is going through turmoil of its own as the fight for cable ratings
Low Senior VP of Creative Development, Sid Ralston, says he has the utmost confidence
that his plan will rejuvenate the aging channel.
Wow, do I yell a lot!
In other local news, scientists are becoming increasingly convinced that the roots of climate
change everywhere can be traced right back to Grassssssside Greene!
Turn that off, Giles!
He's been moping around the hotel all day. Poor kid. Poor?!
They gave him 50,000 clams!
There's bound to be a pearl in there somewhere. Who are those capybaras I'm thinking of?
Cap, go back to sleep.
You got it. Snoring.
How does he do that?
Danny! I hear there's a new 5-hour long art house movie
playing at the Cine-Round-a-Dome. You could do a social media post about it. Okay.
I love it. Blah, blah, blah, send. Venus Arms Hotel and Towers,
Middling Fair's Finest Accommodations, ask about our Peer Gynt Suite.
Guile speaking. How can I direct your call? Hello? I can barely hear you.
This is Perry J. Oshmont. Is Danny there?
He is. Hold on just a moment. Danny! Mr. Oshmont is- Don't mentionly say his name around me!
I neverly ever, ever want to talk about him ever again! He's on the phone. I love it!
Hi! Danny Hillcrest here! Hello Danny! I wanted to call in with a report on the first day on the production. Let's see.
I got in a little late, slight snafu on the way to the airport,
but after that I was able to scout a few locations for the Chasm Valley sets.
Wow! That's a lot! Then I met with the production designer and approved the build.
The sets are going up right now. It's gonna look just like the real thing.
I can't wait to see what our town looks like!
And we finally cast our leads. Great chemistry.
Okay, I have to strategize with the director and the DP and five while the AD is out shooting
some drone footage. Oh, and on the way up, I did another pass on the script.
Another pass at my script? Oh, don't worry, don't worry.
It's just a little last minute inspiration to add some great Chasm Valley atmosphere.
The story is still yours, baby. Okay, gotta run. Call you tomorrow.
The Next Night. Filming went great today. This cast is unbelievable. And the town, mwah!
Chef's kiss. I've already got our editor working on a rough cut of what we've been shooting.
This is the most awesomely thing that has ever happened since they invented the word awesome.
And I don't know what they did before that, but I'm sure it was awesome.
By the incidentally way, Miss Fallmacher had a great idea. Since the movie is about middling fare, maybe we could host the premiere right here.
At the Cine-Round-a-Dome. That's great synergy, Danny. Let's do it.
Um, by the way, is everything okay at the LOW channel?
Oh, don't worry. I had a Zoom today with Octavio Kurstenstein,
the Senior VP of Creative Development. It's all good.
Oh, I gotta go. I have a 2 a.m. with our composer in Poland.
Ciao for now. The next night. Hey, Danny. I'm on a jet back to L.A.
We've wrapped with a few Bay-Os early this morning. I'm talking with the LOW marketing department in five,
and the cast will be in the booth in a few hours to do their ADR. I love AD-Rrrrrr!
How are things coming along for the premiere? We've invited everyone in Middling Fair! Great!
But, um, I just saw a report that the Now Channel wants to re-brand.
Oh, that's marketing buzz. They go through that every year or so.
Pay no attention, okay.
Gotta go, I have a meeting with Angelica Roslin, the Senior VP of Creative Development.
She's seen the rough cut and has a few notes. The next night.
Sorry to cut you off so quick yesterday, Danny. I'm back on location.
Jie Yu, the Senior VP of Creative Development, wanted a few new scenes added.
Well, what can I say?
The LOW channel has final cut. Ooh, that sounds painful.
We're on target to have the film ready for your big premiere.
Everyone in town will be there.
But since it's April, that's only about 50 people. Listen, I think it would be a good idea
if you invited the folks from Grassssssside Greene, too.
I love it. OK. Time to make the magic happen. See you on Thursday.
Music.
At last, the big day arrives. Virtually everyone in Chasm Valley has made their way to the Cine-Round-a-Dome,
where Danny's movie will be showing on five of the six screens.
Shazam! Fury of the Gods is playing on the Superhero Movies only screen.
At the center of the mile-wide rotunda that houses the drive-in sits ye olde projection booth building.
Booth! Booth! Booth! Huzzah! Just outside the building, sitting on overly elaborate thrones,
Also left over from the Renaissance Fair, are several Chasm Valley luminaries,
including Miss Falmacher, Dick Bando, Middling Fair co-mayors Kipper and Mulligan,
and the mayor of Grasss...
...
Side Greene, Mayor Barkley. Nearby, Princess, the modified 1976
Tiara Mega Coach tandem axle school bus,
sits perpendicular to one of the screens.
As good as her word, Cindy still has the Banksy artwork on display on the back doors of the bus.
Inside, looking out the windows, are more familiar faces. Cindy, Lenny Treetop, Cap, Giles, General Kalamity and his trusty aide, the Soldier,
the hotel restaurant maitre d', Detective Haartte, the owner of Caprica Coffee,
and the man of the hour, Danny Hillcrest.
Hillcrest, you were out there hobnobbing with the bigwigs.
Why did you come back here to sit with us? I found out I'm allergic to Mayor Barkley.
Besides, I don't think they realisingly notice that they don't have a speaker to hear the movie.
Like, whoops. I'll be right back.
It's never too late to get in line, but just one minute till showtime.
Oh, it's almost showtime. Where is Mr. Oshmont?
He has the movie. Oh, he won't be here.
He sent me a text note memo that he's off making another movie.
But, he had someone deliver the film. It was in a rigidly hard drive case.
I was all, wow, those movie reels must be pretty small.
Mr. Oshmont said he put a special opening premiere speech at the beginning of the film.
Like, I'm back. Basically, just in time.
Because basically, Nomad451 sent you an instant message from the, basically, projection booth.
Basically, he says the movie is ready to go.
Like, Danny, are you ready?
Uh, uh, uh, cut, uh, print, uh, copy and paste. I think he means go.
Like...
Go. That rocks. Looks like it's showtime.
How did the film turn out? You'll get the answer when you come back
for the penultimate entry in our story, chapter 19.
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In this episode, as Perry J. Oshmont, Grant Johnson, voicegranted.com,
as Abby Fallmacher and Cindy, Bonnie Kenderdine, and the narrator was played by Gary J. Chambers, garyjchambersvo.com.
Additional voices, as well as story and music, by Clinton Alvord.
Copyright 2023, all rights reserved. See you next time, but for now, that's it.
We're done, done, done, done, done.
Music.