1
00:00:00,855 --> 00:00:06,777
Oh, hi. Clinton here, stepping in for a minute to let you know that the last six episodes

2
00:00:06,777 --> 00:00:13,177
of Big Shot will begin on Wednesday, October 11th, which gives you plenty of time to catch

3
00:00:13,177 --> 00:00:19,457
up on any episodes you may have missed. I'll mention how to do that in just a minute. Okay,

4
00:00:19,457 --> 00:00:20,390
on with the show.

5
00:00:20,651 --> 00:00:33,137
The comedy4cast Network. Let's dog ear that for now. This is the 2023 Comedy Forecast Podcast Spectacular,

6
00:00:33,137 --> 00:00:36,324
brought to you by the fantastic Patreon patrons.

7
00:00:37,188 --> 00:00:45,137
Thank you! Why not join Chuck from the Technorama Podcast, Paul, Kyle, and the other amazing individuals

8
00:00:45,137 --> 00:00:48,540
who support the show for as little as a dollar a month.

9
00:00:49,251 --> 00:00:59,054
This year's original 20-chapter story is called Big Shot. To hear it from the beginning, go to comedy4cast.com slash 2023.

10
00:00:59,730 --> 00:01:05,137
And remember, comedy4cast is all one word with the number 4.

11
00:01:05,137 --> 00:01:10,586
Now, here's chapter 14. What's past is dialogue.

12
00:01:10,960 --> 00:01:32,880
Music.

13
00:01:33,011 --> 00:01:38,857
Previously in our story, Detective Haartte was trying to investigate the mysterious stranger

14
00:01:38,857 --> 00:01:41,815
who has come to Middling Fair to find Danny Hillcrest.

15
00:01:42,418 --> 00:01:46,226
However, after sitting down with the stranger at Caprica Coffee,

16
00:01:46,766 --> 00:01:49,431
it was Haartte who found himself doing the talking.

17
00:01:50,349 --> 00:01:54,058
Haartte revealed that Danny had given the detective his very first case.

18
00:01:54,257 --> 00:02:00,198
A statue of Venus de Milo had been stolen from the Middling Fair jewelry store and potluck betting parlor.

19
00:02:00,648 --> 00:02:06,094
As this chapter begins, Detective Haartte continues telling his story to the stranger.

20
00:02:06,301 --> 00:02:13,314
I made a quick trip back to my place of work that just happens to have a full closet of my clothes.

21
00:02:14,673 --> 00:02:19,723
Hi! Danny Hillcrest here! Gah! Hillcrest! What are you doing here?

22
00:02:19,723 --> 00:02:26,457
You forgot to givingly hand me my eye view prescription! I am not an optometrist!

23
00:02:26,772 --> 00:02:31,301
You are a human being! And Soylent Green is made from people!

24
00:02:32,705 --> 00:02:40,843
Ah! I don't have time for this now! Or probably ever. I just need to pick up a few things. I have a statue to find.

25
00:02:40,843 --> 00:02:46,843
Is it a lady? About this tall? With arms that aren't there?

26
00:02:48,198 --> 00:02:54,843
How do you know that? I took it! Damn, I'm good. Why'd you do it, kid?

27
00:02:54,843 --> 00:03:01,530
I saw it on the jewelry store's loading dock, and I figuringly realized it was left there by mistake.

28
00:03:02,124 --> 00:03:09,731
Why does a jewelry store need a mannequin? I thought I'd help out Mr. Dunn and have the delivery people bringingly take it to a different store.

29
00:03:10,073 --> 00:03:12,792
All right, kid. Let's see if we can fix this.

30
00:03:13,188 --> 00:03:19,490
After we get the statue, you can explain to Dunn that what you did was indeed done as a decent deed.

31
00:03:19,940 --> 00:03:26,557
Deal? Could you say that again? Not without a dozen shots of Dewer's. Let's go!

32
00:03:26,843 --> 00:03:33,560
We high-tailed it over to the Middling Fair dress shop and impromptu event planning service,

33
00:03:34,208 --> 00:03:36,738
to speak with Minnie, the owner.

34
00:03:37,620 --> 00:03:46,110
Why no, I don't have it. That thing was all wrong for my store. It was wearing some kind of dreadful

35
00:03:46,110 --> 00:03:53,473
wraparound skirt that couldn't even be removed. I mean really, a mannequin that can't be changed?

36
00:03:53,932 --> 00:03:57,150
Have you ever heard of such a thing? I guess I have now.

37
00:03:58,010 --> 00:04:03,470
I won't have it, I tell you. I maintain a very high standard here. Besides,

38
00:04:03,470 --> 00:04:10,350
it was blocking my entire display of mom jeans and crocheted leg warmers. I had this young man

39
00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:18,990
here take it away. What young man? Hi, Danny Hillcrest here. Yes, I suggested he take it to

40
00:04:18,990 --> 00:04:24,510
the Middling Fair bookstore and haystack needle placement service. A much better fit for that

41
00:04:24,510 --> 00:04:31,310
mannequin. Certainly better than the way that skirt fit. Poor thing. No wonder she turned to

42
00:04:31,517 --> 00:04:33,830
stone. Out of embarrassment.

43
00:04:34,236 --> 00:04:44,084
Hillcrest, why didn't you tell me you took it there? Sorry, I have a reversingly regressive type mind, but now that you already know what I did,

44
00:04:44,408 --> 00:04:49,116
I rememberingly recall telling the delivery people to take it to the bookstore.

45
00:04:49,305 --> 00:05:00,470
Fine, let's go. There's too much fashion here anyway. Yes, I remember having the statue delivered.

46
00:05:00,470 --> 00:05:04,618
And I remember giving that man behind you a firm no. Hi!

47
00:05:05,110 --> 00:05:11,343
Danny Hillcrest here! What good is a statue with no arms in a bookstore?

48
00:05:11,496 --> 00:05:18,527
I see. That sort of tchotchke may be fine for someone who sells comic books.

49
00:05:19,030 --> 00:05:23,361
But this is a legitimate bookstore. Hang on, Mr. Turner! Aren't

50
00:05:23,750 --> 00:05:31,150
those comic books on that shelf over there? Those, sir, are graphic novels. Now, if you'll

51
00:05:31,150 --> 00:05:40,546
excuse me, I have to restock the D&D Miniatures aisle. It's Warlocks and Wizards Wednesday.

52
00:05:41,270 --> 00:05:47,110
Hillcrest, I'd love to take a tour of every mom-and-pop business in town, and no, I didn't

53
00:05:47,110 --> 00:05:52,270
really mean that, but there isn't time. Where did you have the delivery people drop this

54
00:05:52,270 --> 00:05:58,659
thing off and leave it there? Let's see, I had them bring it to the dance studio, but,

55
00:05:59,190 --> 00:06:04,350
they said something about it not being able to move. Then the hobby shop, but they didn't

56
00:06:04,350 --> 00:06:09,390
want to model without all the parts. Oh, now I remember!

57
00:06:09,390 --> 00:06:16,450
Sure, I remember getting the statue. They don't call this the Middling Fair rare statue

58
00:06:16,450 --> 00:06:21,730
warehouse and drive-thru parking lot for nothing. The delivery crew seemed pretty happy to get

59
00:06:21,730 --> 00:06:25,261
rid of it too. They act like they've been lugging it around all day.

60
00:06:25,441 --> 00:06:27,331
Finally, where is it?

61
00:06:27,934 --> 00:06:28,888
Right in here!

62
00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:38,800
Giant warehouse sounds.

63
00:06:38,791 --> 00:06:48,576
Holy Indiana Jones Crate-Filled Finale! There must be a couple hundred Venus de Milo statues in here.

64
00:06:49,201 --> 00:06:58,011
All sizes, all kinds. I got statues, statuettes, maquettes, floor lamps, broom handles, Christmas ornaments,

65
00:06:58,081 --> 00:07:01,693
menorahs, kinaras, coffee mugs, you name it.

66
00:07:02,401 --> 00:07:06,572
Having a Milo was a really big craze last year. Everybody wanted one.

67
00:07:07,256 --> 00:07:12,793
Now, you can't give them away. So I sold them all. What do you mean you sold them?

68
00:07:13,841 --> 00:07:18,641
I have a service coming in today to cart everything out and crush it into a giant ugly

69
00:07:18,641 --> 00:07:21,813
cube. Now, that I can sell.

70
00:07:23,037 --> 00:07:23,334
Look, I just need one.

71
00:07:24,685 --> 00:07:32,121
A full-size Venus de Milo marble, carved in Italy. Mister, you've just described half the things in here.

72
00:07:32,121 --> 00:07:36,622
And to be honest, if you want one thing from all of this, you're gonna have to take everything.

73
00:07:37,324 --> 00:07:42,841
This is a question I rarely ask myself, but what am I going to do with hundreds of Venus de Milo's?

74
00:07:43,409 --> 00:07:52,339
Make your own weird terracotta army for all I care. The truck's here. Tick tock. Fine.

75
00:07:53,441 --> 00:07:56,796
I'll buy the whole lot. What the heck?

76
00:07:57,498 --> 00:08:01,961
I can put it down as an expense on my tab. You won't regret it.

77
00:08:03,178 --> 00:08:09,975
I'm kidding. You totally will. I'll write you up a receipt. Now how do I get these things out of here?

78
00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:15,709
Ask the truck crew. They might be able to help you out. Here comes the driver now.

79
00:08:16,592 --> 00:08:21,714
Excuse me! Yeah? Hi! Danny Hillcrest here! Oh no!

80
00:08:22,740 --> 00:08:26,028
We told you Hillcrest! We're done loading and unloading that statue!

81
00:08:26,028 --> 00:08:29,028
I wouldn't be so sure!

82
00:08:29,028 --> 00:08:36,548
After I assured the delivery people that Hillcrest would not be coming along with us, they agreed

83
00:08:36,548 --> 00:08:38,080
to load everything onto the truck.

84
00:08:38,988 --> 00:08:43,013
Fortunately, I was able to locate the one Abby Fallmacher ordered.

85
00:08:43,468 --> 00:08:50,233
It had a plaque on the back. Statue, part one of three. What chutzpah.

86
00:08:50,755 --> 00:08:54,986
I dropped that one off at the jewelry store so Dunn could tell Abby it was ready to be picked up.

87
00:08:55,508 --> 00:09:02,748
She'd be none the wiser. He was thrilled, maybe a little less so when I showed him the bill and told him about everything

88
00:09:02,748 --> 00:09:04,214
else in the truck.

89
00:09:04,548 --> 00:09:05,897
But he stuck me with all that.

90
00:09:06,908 --> 00:09:13,252
But I have to admit, he started recommending me to all the businesses in town. It saved my bacon.

91
00:09:14,228 --> 00:09:18,500
Kind of gets you. Right here. What was that?

92
00:09:19,008 --> 00:09:23,514
Haartte reaches into his jacket and pulls out his statement of purpose.

93
00:09:24,172 --> 00:09:28,889
I promised to provide everyone in town with my detective services.

94
00:09:29,384 --> 00:09:30,995
What did you say? And I...

95
00:09:31,409 --> 00:09:35,577
I was a total jerk to him when he needed my help with that jewelry store robbery.

96
00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:42,554
I guess I was pretty full of myself after solving the case of the waffle batter sphere. Mostly by myself.

97
00:09:43,337 --> 00:09:47,650
I think I owe Dunn an apology. Right now!

98
00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:57,282
Terrific! Just one more dead end. All I've done since I got here is collect a bunch of stories

99
00:09:57,327 --> 00:10:00,262
about how Hillcrest has messed up people's lives.

100
00:10:00,508 --> 00:10:03,259
Excuse me, are you going to finish his coffee? Huh?

101
00:10:03,683 --> 00:10:07,292
Oh, no. You can take that away. I suppose I could do that.

102
00:10:08,004 --> 00:10:19,268
But, waste not, want more, I always say. Enough!

103
00:10:19,268 --> 00:10:24,148
I'm going back to that hotel right now and make them dig through their records, look

104
00:10:24,148 --> 00:10:27,331
in Hillcrest's room, whatever it takes.

105
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:33,939
Danny Hillcrest's time has run out. It looks like the stranger's patience has reached its limit.

106
00:10:34,533 --> 00:10:37,909
What will he do next? For answers, be sure to come back for.

107
00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:45,012
Chapter 15, Chekhov's gun. Like the show?

108
00:10:45,403 --> 00:10:49,207
Be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. It's easy.

109
00:10:49,803 --> 00:10:55,723
Just go to comedy4cast, all one word with the number four, and you'll see lots of places

110
00:10:55,723 --> 00:11:01,666
to add us, like Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, and iHeartRadio.

111
00:11:02,323 --> 00:11:09,822
In this episode, as Minnie, the clothing store owner, Christiana Ellis, ChristianaEllis.com.

112
00:11:10,758 --> 00:11:18,617
As Turner, the bookstore owner, John Bell, from the Bells in the Batfry podcast, TheBatfry.com.

113
00:11:19,293 --> 00:11:22,668
As Carver, the warehouse owner, Cameron McGrath.

114
00:11:23,403 --> 00:11:28,403
As Delivery Person 1, Steve Ng, steveng5.com.

115
00:11:29,443 --> 00:11:39,043
That's steve, N-G, the number five, dot com. As The Stranger, Grant Johnson, voicegranted.com.

116
00:11:39,123 --> 00:11:45,120
And the narrator was played by Gary J. Chambers, garyjchambersvo.com.

117
00:11:45,783 --> 00:11:50,620
Additional voices, as well as story and music by Clinton Alvord.

118
00:11:50,763 --> 00:11:56,283
Copyright 2023, all rights reserved. See you next time.

119
00:11:56,490 --> 00:11:57,921
But for now, that's it.

120
00:11:58,283 --> 00:12:00,874
We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye-bye.

121
00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:14,958
Music.