Music. The comedy4cast network. Let's dog ear that for now.
This is the 2023 comedy4cast Podcast Spectacular, brought to you by the fantastic Patreon patrons.
Thank you! Why not join Zach, Charlotte, Amy, and the other amazing individuals
who support the show for as little as a dollar a month?
This year's original 20-chapter story is called Big Shot. To hear it from the beginning,
go to comedy4cast.com slash 2023.
And remember, Comedy Forecast is all one word, with the number 4.
Now, here's Chapter 12, A Cup Full of Danger.
Music.
Previously in our story, the mysterious stranger who is in Middling Fair looking for Danny
Hillcrest headed out of the Venus Arms Hotel to get some breakfast, but before he left,
he informed Giles that Cap was asleep in the hall just outside his room.
While Giles took the elevator up to the 10th floor, Detective Haartte spoke with Abby Falmacher,
making the rounds of local businesses, asking if they need any suspicious activity investigated.
No, thank you, Detective Haartte. And to be honest, none of the merchants in town want to work with you.
Not after the way you treated Wilbert Dunn. From the Middling Fair jewelry store and potluck supper betting parlor?
What's the big deal? He wanted me to solve some petty jewelry theft.
That might have been okay back in the day, before I solved the case of the waffle batter sphere.
So you keep saying. Their conversation was interrupted by Giles several attempts to get cap out of the returning elevator.
As this chapter begins, Giles is giving his retrieval task one more try.
Step out first, then talk.
Giles helps Cap over to the front desk. Exhausted from their adventure, the two employees lean against the counter.
Well? Well what? Oh yes, Cap, tell Miss Falmacher what happened.
Okay, there was a ding and then the elevator doors opened and you came in.
Not that. What happened last night? What Mr. Blaine Hendricks said?
I got it, got it. Hey, did you know he gave me a 20 buck tip? I don't have to split it with you,
do I? Because you didn't do bupkis. Anyway, I heard him talking on his phone.
Remember when we had phones in the rooms? Five dollars for a local call, please! Cap! Oh, yeah.
He said that even if Danny's hiding, he's going to find him and take care of him.
And if there are any witnesses, he'll take care of them, too.
And then... And then the carpet looked really soft. And so I thought I would just lie down and...
I think that's about it. I'll get Cap over to his comfy chair.
This is very concerning. I'm calling the police.
And what exactly are you going to say? That Cap heard something?
His picture is in the dictionary next to unreliable witness and unusual ear hair.
But that's another story.
Then what do you suggest? Maybe you could buy him a trimmer.
I mean about Danny and this stranger.
Here's a suggestion.
Why don't I shadow this guy and see what's up?
My professional opinion is it's nothing, but it'll help me keep my sleuthing skills in peak condition
and ready for a real case.
The problem is he has a head start. I have no idea where he's going.
Caprica Coffee. No, thanks. I'm trying to cut down. He's going to Caprica Coffee to have breakfast.
At last, my first clue.
You've still got it, Haartte.
No wonder you solved the case of the waffle. Will you get going? All right!
There it was.
Capica Coffee's coffee shop, coffee bar, and coffeeXpress.
Hold on. Look, I'm okay with you all doing your own voiceovers during your flashbacks, but now
you're crossing the line. What the hell are you talking about?
This is my whole deal! Oh, really? Have you listened to the credits?
And as the narrator, Gary J. Chambers. All right, fine.
But you can't use my music.
That's okay. I brought my own.
Oops. Wrong track. I'm new to Spotify. That's better. Detective Haartte hesitated
staring at the sign, Caprica Coffee, he thought. Why did it have to be Caprica Coffee?
The memories of a thousand sleepless nights rushed in like customers at a Black Friday sale.
The caffeine highs, the sweet'n los, so many donuts.
Hey, buddy, none of that is true. Just getting my bearings. You can go in now.
Welcome to Caprica Coffee's coffee shop. The gaunt owner of the cafe looked up,
from his endless, thankless toils.
Through sunken eyes, he viewed the new customer as just one more hunk of flesh passing through his life,
part of the never-ending parade of lost souls.
He grunted out a greeting.
I guess I'll just start over. Welcome to Caprica Coffee's coffee shop, coffee bar,
and coffeeXpress, where every cup of coffee is just $2.
Small, medium, large, extra large.
Even our Caprica Coffee coffee cauldron is just $2.
Would you like to try our new Rustica Quistador Cortana Brew made with robusta beans and a hint of poposity?
No thanks. Just a small dark roast and a bagel.
Toasted? Not at the moment.
Haartte scanned the room, eyeing the seedy clientele a greasy spoon joint like this attracts like flies swarm to hot, weak old tuna sandwiches.
Hold the pickles.
To his right he spotted a well-dressed administrative assistant.
To his other right, a crossing guard.
And directly ahead, the worst of the bunch, a hack writer working on his cheesy audio plays. Hey!
Finally, there, sitting at a dimly lit table by the sun-filled window, sat the stranger.
With his steaming cup of joe in hand, Detective Haartte- But I haven't given him his coffee yet!
Well hurry up, I'm on a roll! Here you go!
Thanks. Sorry about the narration. Occupational hazard.
Haartte cautiously approach the stranger's table, wondering which alias he should pull out of
his private dick's bag of tricks to win the stranger's confidence.
Right. Excuse me, you didn't happen to see a woman wearing a white dress come in here, did you? She had an umbrella.
Or as I like to call it, a parasail. I think you mean parasol.
Do I? Mind if I sit here? The place is a little crowded. Sure.
Now let me ask you a question. Do you know Danny Hillcrest?
Of course I do. Everyone in town knows Hillcrest.
But nobody seems to know where he is.
Do you?
Listen, I ask the questions around here. Oh?
The name's Haartte. Detective Hart. heart. Two A's, two T's, spelled right.
Say it right. Detective? That didn't take long.
Has Haartte lost his touch? Would I have used a different approach?
Will I release my background music on Spotify?
For answers, and possibly my pitch for a narrator P.I. T.V. series,
be sure to come back for Chapter 13, Trouble Finds Detective Haartte.
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You'll find comedy4cast a lot of places, like Amazon Music, Apple podcasts,
and Spotify. Just remember, comedy4cast is all one word, with the number 4.
And voice assistants hate that. In this episode, as the stranger, Grant Johnson,
Voicegranted.com, as Abbie Fallmacher, Bonnie Kenderdine, and the narrator was played by Gary J. Chambers, garyjchambersvo.com.
Additional voices, as well as story and music, by Clinton Alvord.
Copyright 2023, all rights reserved.
See you next time, but for now, that's it. We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye-bye!
Music.