Music. The comedy4cast network. Let's dog ear that for now.
This is the 2023 comedy4cast Podcast Spectacular, brought to you by the fantastic Patreon patrons.
Thank you. Why not join Paul, Kyle, Kaylnn, and the other amazing individuals
who support the show for as little as a dollar a month?
This year's original 20-chapter story is called Big Shot. To hear it from the beginning,
go to comedy4cast.com slash 2023, And remember, comedy4cast is all one word,
with the number 4.
Now, here's chapter five, Where Darkness Lives.
Music.
Previously in our story, Danny Hillcrest ran out of the Venus Arms Hotel and Towers.
He had confided to Giles and Miss Falmacher that he owed certain people for all the scripts
he had been mailing to Hollywood studios and was afraid he might not be able to pay them,
back.
Soon afterwards, a mysterious stranger arrived in Middling Fair, intent on finding Danny Hillcrest.
Mere coincidence?
Sure, let's go with that.
After finding out Danny was gone, destination unknown, the stranger spoke with the hotel
restaurant's maitre d. Danny had been in the eatery earlier in the day and caused a scene.
He left behind a placemat, on which was scribbled the phrase, a ram sang. Giles had no idea,
what that meant, but he did remember something of possible import.
Oh, I believe he is employed in The Tunnels. What's that? A nightclub?
No. The Tunnels are, well, a bunch of tunnels under Chasm Valley.
Badger people made them.
Look, it's complicated, all right? Complicated or not, the stranger made his way to One Pasta Place
and began walking through the access corridor to The Tunnels.
While en route, he had an ominous phone conversation. Distorted voice heard.
I know the boss needs this taken care of yesterday. I'm working on it.
Distorted voice heard. I'm checking out every place he's been.
Tell Ralston I'll call back when I've executed.
As this chapter begins, the stranger reaches the entrance to The Tunnels.
He spots a sign that reads, Tunnel Transportation Conveyance.
Express bus to library. There, idling quietly, is a converted 1976 Tiara Mega Coach tandem axle school bus
painted in military green with the word,
Princess spray-painted across the rear exit doors.
Is anything in this town normal? Before anyone can answer that question, the stranger boards the bus.
He is the only passenger. Might as well take a window seat.
The bus begins to roll along through the dark, silent tunnels.
Please keep your hands, arms, feet, and legs inside the bus at all times.
If an item should happen to fall from the bus, that means you haven't followed the above rules. Shame on you.
We are now traveling through an elaborate system of underground passageways and rooms,
collectively called the tunnels, because calling them a skyway would be ridiculous.
This marvel of engineering was constructed by a race of so-called badger people.
But these creatures, led by an inscrutable human named Romeo Sykes, left Chasm Valley
in 2020. They deeded the tunnels to the current owner, Cindy Duskdaisy. Are you taking notes?
There'll be a quiz! The library at the far end of this main tunnel also serves as Cindy's
office. To make this environment livable, the Badger People developed a series of spheres
that provided water, power, and illumination. However, all of the spheres disappeared into
the sky almost a year ago, plunging The Tunnels into silent darkness. It was just like being,
in Des Moines on a Saturday night. But now, the massive, mile-wide rotunda at the center
of the tunnel system, once known as the underdome, is powered by a lot of hot air.
That turns underground wind turbines. In fact,
we are passing through that space right now. This is now where the six-screen art house drive-in Cine-Round-a-Dome is located.
The projection systems and FM audio transmitters were donated by an unnamed benefactor.
At least, that's what I call them.
Also, note the unique look of the central projection booth and the various snack bars.
These were hastily constructed from the abandoned Renaissance Fair merchant booths that previously,
occupied this space. Cindy is all about recycling!
Currently the drive-ins are showing Nosferatu, Salambo, The Tree of Life, El Rancho, Mulholland
Drive, and Ant-Man and the Wasp, Quantumania.
Apparently, we are required by law to show at least one superhero movie at all times.
Eventually, Princess reaches the far end of the tunnels and rolls to a stop.
Remember to check for your belongings and watch your head as you exit the bus.
I have no idea how that is even possible, so good luck!
The stranger steps off the bus and walks toward the open doorway to the library.
The room is lit by several candles and the occasional lava lamp.
Cindy is seated at a desk at the center of the room. She is pouring over some of the recipe books the badger people left behind.
Like yogurt and taco soup. Whatever. Excuse me.
Like, hey, if you're looking for the restrooms, they're like way back at the Cine-Round-a-Dome snack bars.
But I should warn you, they're like kinda retro Renfest, so... Are you, Cindy?
Like, yeah. What's up?
I'm looking for Danny Hillcrest. Like, good luck with that.
I take it he's not here. Like, no. Not since I, like, fired him.
Oh, great. Can you tell me what happened?
I have to find him. It's about a life-altering change. Of course, that's just a metaphor.
Yeah.
A metaphor.
Is it just a metaphor? Can an analogy be far behind? What about grandiloquence?
Oh, and why the heck did Cindy fire Danny? For answers to some of these questions,
be sure to come back for Chapter 6, Communications Breakdown.
Are you liking the show? Well, please help spread the word
by sharing it on social media, maybe even right now.
You are this show's greatest media influencer. In this episode, as the stranger, Grant Johnson,
voicegranted.com, as the cell phone caller, Bonnie Kenderdine, and the narrator and tour guide,
were played by Gary J. Chambers, garyjchambersvo.com.
Additional voices, as well as story and music by Clinton Alvord.
Copyright 2023. All rights reserved. See you in the next one. But for now, that's it.
We're done, done, done, done, done! Bye-bye.
Music.