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Music. The comedy4cast network. Let's dog ear that for now.

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This is the 2023 comedy4cast Podcast Spectacular, brought to you by the fantastic Patreon patrons.

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Thank you. Why not join Paul, Kyle, Kaylnn, and the other amazing individuals

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who support the show for as little as a dollar a month?

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This year's original 20-chapter story is called Big Shot. To hear it from the beginning,

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go to comedy4cast.com slash 2023, And remember, comedy4cast is all one word,

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with the number 4.

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Now, here's chapter five, Where Darkness Lives.

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Music.

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Previously in our story, Danny Hillcrest ran out of the Venus Arms Hotel and Towers.

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He had confided to Giles and Miss Falmacher that he owed certain people for all the scripts

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he had been mailing to Hollywood studios and was afraid he might not be able to pay them,

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back.

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Soon afterwards, a mysterious stranger arrived in Middling Fair, intent on finding Danny Hillcrest.

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Mere coincidence?

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Sure, let's go with that.

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After finding out Danny was gone, destination unknown, the stranger spoke with the hotel

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restaurant's maitre d. Danny had been in the eatery earlier in the day and caused a scene.

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He left behind a placemat, on which was scribbled the phrase, a ram sang. Giles had no idea,

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what that meant, but he did remember something of possible import.

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Oh, I believe he is employed in The Tunnels. What's that? A nightclub?

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No. The Tunnels are, well, a bunch of tunnels under Chasm Valley.

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Badger people made them.

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Look, it's complicated, all right? Complicated or not, the stranger made his way to One Pasta Place

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and began walking through the access corridor to The Tunnels.

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While en route, he had an ominous phone conversation. Distorted voice heard.

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I know the boss needs this taken care of yesterday. I'm working on it.

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Distorted voice heard. I'm checking out every place he's been.

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Tell Ralston I'll call back when I've executed.

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As this chapter begins, the stranger reaches the entrance to The Tunnels.

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He spots a sign that reads, Tunnel Transportation Conveyance.

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Express bus to library. There, idling quietly, is a converted 1976 Tiara Mega Coach tandem axle school bus

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painted in military green with the word,

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Princess spray-painted across the rear exit doors.

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Is anything in this town normal? Before anyone can answer that question, the stranger boards the bus.

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He is the only passenger. Might as well take a window seat.

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The bus begins to roll along through the dark, silent tunnels.

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Please keep your hands, arms, feet, and legs inside the bus at all times.

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If an item should happen to fall from the bus, that means you haven't followed the above rules. Shame on you.

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We are now traveling through an elaborate system of underground passageways and rooms,

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collectively called the tunnels, because calling them a skyway would be ridiculous.

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This marvel of engineering was constructed by a race of so-called badger people.

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But these creatures, led by an inscrutable human named Romeo Sykes, left Chasm Valley

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in 2020. They deeded the tunnels to the current owner, Cindy Duskdaisy. Are you taking notes?

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There'll be a quiz! The library at the far end of this main tunnel also serves as Cindy's

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office. To make this environment livable, the Badger People developed a series of spheres

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that provided water, power, and illumination. However, all of the spheres disappeared into

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the sky almost a year ago, plunging The Tunnels into silent darkness. It was just like being,

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in Des Moines on a Saturday night. But now, the massive, mile-wide rotunda at the center

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of the tunnel system, once known as the underdome, is powered by a lot of hot air.

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That turns underground wind turbines. In fact,

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we are passing through that space right now. This is now where the six-screen art house drive-in Cine-Round-a-Dome is located.

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The projection systems and FM audio transmitters were donated by an unnamed benefactor.

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At least, that's what I call them.

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Also, note the unique look of the central projection booth and the various snack bars.

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These were hastily constructed from the abandoned Renaissance Fair merchant booths that previously,

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occupied this space. Cindy is all about recycling!

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Currently the drive-ins are showing Nosferatu, Salambo, The Tree of Life, El Rancho, Mulholland

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Drive, and Ant-Man and the Wasp, Quantumania.

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Apparently, we are required by law to show at least one superhero movie at all times.

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Eventually, Princess reaches the far end of the tunnels and rolls to a stop.

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Remember to check for your belongings and watch your head as you exit the bus.

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I have no idea how that is even possible, so good luck!

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The stranger steps off the bus and walks toward the open doorway to the library.

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The room is lit by several candles and the occasional lava lamp.

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Cindy is seated at a desk at the center of the room. She is pouring over some of the recipe books the badger people left behind.

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Like yogurt and taco soup. Whatever. Excuse me.

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Like, hey, if you're looking for the restrooms, they're like way back at the Cine-Round-a-Dome snack bars.

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But I should warn you, they're like kinda retro Renfest, so... Are you, Cindy?

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Like, yeah. What's up?

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I'm looking for Danny Hillcrest. Like, good luck with that.

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I take it he's not here. Like, no. Not since I, like, fired him.

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Oh, great. Can you tell me what happened?

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I have to find him. It's about a life-altering change. Of course, that's just a metaphor.

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Yeah.

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A metaphor.

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Is it just a metaphor? Can an analogy be far behind? What about grandiloquence?

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Oh, and why the heck did Cindy fire Danny? For answers to some of these questions,

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be sure to come back for Chapter 6, Communications Breakdown.

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Are you liking the show? Well, please help spread the word

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by sharing it on social media, maybe even right now.

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You are this show's greatest media influencer. In this episode, as the stranger, Grant Johnson,

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voicegranted.com, as the cell phone caller, Bonnie Kenderdine, and the narrator and tour guide,

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were played by Gary J. Chambers, garyjchambersvo.com.

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Additional voices, as well as story and music by Clinton Alvord.

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Copyright 2023. All rights reserved. See you in the next one. But for now, that's it.

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We're done, done, done, done, done! Bye-bye.

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Music.