Music. The comedy4cast network. Let's dog ear that for now.
This is the 2023 comedy4cast Podcast Spectacular, brought to you by the fantastic Patreon patrons.
Thank you! Why not join Darren, Stan, Zach, and the other amazing individuals,
who support the show for as little as a dollar a month? This year's original 20-chapter story is called Big Shot.
To hear it from the beginning, go to comedy4cast.com/2023.
And remember, comedy4cast is all one word, with the number four.
Now, here's Chapter 2, High Ten A.M.
Music.
Previously in our story, we learned that the Venus Arms Hotel and Tower's main revolving
door is in need of serious repairs. Oh, and Danny Hillcrest was chased out of the hotel's
fancy restaurant. The wishful thinking screenplay author seemed very nervous.
I had to borrow an awful lot to send out all these scripts. I'm not sure certain people
will be happy if things don't work out and I can't repay them.
As he rushed out of the hotel, he accidentally left behind a package that contained some DVDs.
A boxed set called the On the Lamb Collection. There's Some Like It Hot, Sister Act,
My Blue Heaven, and Snakes on a Plane.
Interesting indeed.
As this chapter begins, we shift our attention from the Venus Arms Hotel and Towers
and its clearly inadequate main doorway to another part of Chasm Valley,
namely the valley's one and only train station.
This quaint facility is located in a rift that runs between Middling Fair and its half-sister town,
that hard luck haven, Grassssssside Greene.
We've arrived just in time, too, because the daily train through Chasm Valley
headed toward Pleasant View will be stopping here in just a second.
Oh, that's right. This train never arrives on schedule. Well, except for that one time.
Since we may be here for a while, why don't I tell you a bit about myself?
After all, I'm more than just an omnipotent, third-person, reliable narrator.
For instance, I recently acquired a sizable number of antique, oversized cufflinks to add to...
Dang it! Well, let's dog-ear that terribly interesting anecdote for now and get back to the story.
As we learned in the last chapter, most of the residents of Middling Fair are out of town for the month of April.
Yet, as the train pulls in, there are still some individuals standing on the platform.
Who can they be? We're from Grassssssside Greene. Of course. The town that spells its name with seven S's.
The town that actually elected a dog as its mayor. Home of the world's longest-burning dumpster fire, continually smoldering since 1951.
I think they get it.
A lone figure emerges from the passenger car. Smoke obscures his form as he walks onto the platform.
Hey, wait. This isn't a steam train.
That's just smoke from the dumpster fire.
Unbelievable.
Excuse me. You. Me? Yeah. Is this Middling Fair?
No. This is Grassssssside Greene.
Then how do I get to Middling Fair? It's easy. You just take the funicular over there up to the top of that hill.
Got it.
I'm not finished. When you get to the top, you need to walk up the stairs to the Middling Fair monorail. Take that downtown.
Okay. So then I'm at the Venus Arms Hotel? No. Then you get on the Middling Fair trolley and hop off that when you get to the Venus Arms.
Can you repeat all that?
Not even if I wanted to. I gotta get on board. Good luck.
By the way, why the heck do you want to go to Middling Fair in April?
I need to find a guy named Danny Hillcrest. Do you know him?
No. Do you know Michael Gregovsky?
No.
Then we're even. Hey, conductor, why is this train moving so slow?
The stranger waves his hands, punching a small break in the smoke, and begins to walk towards the funicular.
Okay, Hillcrest, let's do this.
Several modes of transportation later, the stranger hops off the street trolley.
Venus Arms Hotel and Towers.
Perfect.
This shouldn't take long. Little does the stranger know, the revolving door is virtually inoperable.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who got caught this time.
Hey genius, I'm already inside.
Oh, then I'll just... No, no, no, no. Somebody get me out of...
Oh, it goes the other way.
The... Um... The stranger approaches the... most revolving doors go clockwise, right? It's not just me, is it? I get in, and push on.
The stranger approaches the front desk, where Giles is hard at work studying the hotel's
master operations manual.
Remove wrenched ankle? Wait, these are the directions for operation. Oh well, it could
still come in handy if Cap ever needs the water on his knees replaced. You work here?
No, I just enjoy meeting new people.
What can I do for you? You can tell me where I can find Danny Hillcrest.
Eh, eh, eh, eh, Dorsal fin! Find Danny?
Why the heck would you wanna do a thing like that? That's my business.
Do either of you know where Danny Hillcrest is? Shh, he's like Beetlejuice,
except you only need to say his name once.
I've already said it twice. So you have. That's odd. What room is he in?
Sir? It is against hotel policy to give out such information.
It's also apparently against our policy to remove a funny bone.
I need to see Hillcrest. Can you call his room?
I can, but it won't help. He departed the hotel a few hours ago.
Oh good! Peace and quiet for a change, so I can get back...
to... Pfffff Can you send him a text? Why would I have his phone number?
The object is to avoid him. I suppose that means you also don't have his email address. Bingo!
Bingo! Hang on. Let me get my card. Nope. No whammies.
Next time try to throw the ball right down the... I think Cap's comfy chair is a bit too comfy.
Sir, in spite of what you may have been told, I am not Danny's administrative assistant.
He left in a hurry after lunch at our restaurant. Perhaps the maitre d' can help you.
The host station is right there, across the lobby.
Fine. The stranger crosses the ornate Venus Arms lobby, passing by an empty glass case at the
center of the room. It's where Abby Falmacher plans on placing the actual arms of the Venus
de Milo statue if they are ever located. The stranger walks up to the host station, where
a well-dressed gentleman stands at the ready.
Welcome to Le Restaurant Mal Allumé. Je regrette, we are currently closed.
Are you in charge?
Monsieur, I have been with the restaurant for over eleven years. Perhaps it is my penance
for some unremembered offence. Who can say? I am in charge of the entire establishment.
Except of course, the kitchen.
And the sommelier. And the wait staff.
How may I help you? I'm looking for Danny Hillcrest. Then may I suggest you look in the nearest sewer, monsieur.
That clumsy ox is no longer welcome here.
But he was here earlier, right? And he left in a hurry? This is true.
Tell me what happened.
Maybe something will help me find him. Why is this stranger so interested in finding Danny Hillcrest?
Is he hoping to make history by actually being the first person who actually wants to speak to Danny?
Maybe it simply has to do with that borrowing Danny did to send out his scripts,
because that would make much more sense.
For revelations, be sure to come back for Chapter 3, Puzzles Galore!
Are you liking the show?
Then be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. comedy4cast is listed on iTunes, Amazon Music, iHeartRadio, and more.
In this episode, as the Grasssssside Greene resident, John Bell from the Bells and the Batfry podcast.
thebatfry.com, as The Stranger, Grant Johnson,
voicegranted.com, as The maitre d', Nathan Alvord,
and the narrator was played by Gary J. Chambers, garyjchambersvo.com.
Additional voices, as well as story and music, by Clinton Alvord.
Copyright 2023, all rights reserved.
See you next time, but for now, that's it, we're done done done done done, bye bye!
Music.