1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:11,440 The comedy4cast network. Let's dog ear that for now. This is the 2023 comedy4cast 2 00:00:11,432 --> 00:00:18,679 Podcast Spectacular, brought to you by the fantastic Patreon Patrons. Thank you. 3 00:00:19,489 --> 00:00:25,512 Why not join Kalynn, Krazy Joe Adventures, Gary, and the other amazing individuals who 4 00:00:25,662 --> 00:00:28,537 support the show for as little as a dollar a month? 5 00:00:29,142 --> 00:00:32,723 This year's original 20-chapter story is called Big Shot. 6 00:00:33,462 --> 00:00:37,512 Now, here's chapter one, Danny in Distress. 7 00:00:37,520 --> 00:01:01,040 Music. 8 00:01:01,035 --> 00:01:08,182 Hello, dear listener. My name is Gary, and once again I will serve as your humble narrator for this tale from 9 00:01:08,182 --> 00:01:15,702 Middling Fair. We begin, as we often do, here in Chasm Valley, home to two wildly different 10 00:01:15,702 --> 00:01:20,562 communities. On one side of the valley is the chaotic, accident-generating town that 11 00:01:20,741 --> 00:01:28,771 spells its name with seven S's. Grassssssside Greene. On the other side sits the sleepy yet 12 00:01:28,825 --> 00:01:35,302 somehow bustling municipality of Middling Fair, the town built on a cul-de-sac. Well, normally 13 00:01:35,302 --> 00:01:41,742 it's sleepy. But every April, things tend to get... complicated. For instance, last 14 00:01:41,742 --> 00:01:45,119 year, April didn't begin until May, and went all the way through November. 15 00:01:45,677 --> 00:01:49,611 Hey, a musical. What was Clinton thinking? 16 00:01:50,709 --> 00:01:57,562 Ahem. Where was I? Ah, yes. April in Middling Fair. This year, most of the good people of this 17 00:01:57,562 --> 00:02:03,122 community chose wisely and have already made their exit from the Valley. An enterprising 18 00:02:03,122 --> 00:02:09,622 local travel agency arranged a 30-day, 18-night cruise to Alaska, Pennsylvania, for anyone 19 00:02:09,622 --> 00:02:14,362 looking to escape for the month. As I understand it, the highlight of the cruise is getting 20 00:02:14,362 --> 00:02:21,902 to see the ship limbo under the highway overpasses. But I digress. Again. 21 00:02:22,922 --> 00:02:27,302 Let's check in on some of the residents who choose to remain in town every year by visiting 22 00:02:27,302 --> 00:02:33,562 the lobby of the Venus Arms Hotel and Towers, Middling Fair's finest, and only, full-service 23 00:02:33,562 --> 00:02:38,007 hotel and apartments facility. It's right here, through this revolving door. 24 00:02:38,562 --> 00:02:50,899 Um, I think it's stuck. Never mind, we can see from here. Ah, there's Abby Falmacher, 25 00:02:51,062 --> 00:02:55,031 the owner of the hotel and the Little Wicker Basket Company. Little wicker baskets, they're 26 00:02:55,422 --> 00:02:55,958 everywhere! 27 00:02:56,813 --> 00:03:00,225 She's speaking with Giles, the front desk clerk and assistant manager. 28 00:03:00,855 --> 00:03:02,854 Let's see if we can hear what they're saying. 29 00:03:03,466 --> 00:03:09,317 Well, it's April, Giles. You know what that means. I do. 30 00:03:09,363 --> 00:03:19,148 That annoying narrator voice is going to start butting in at random times all month long. 31 00:03:19,337 --> 00:03:21,362 Hey, I can hear you. 32 00:03:21,929 --> 00:03:28,375 Oh, I thought you meant we are due for a disaster. Isn't that what I just said? 33 00:03:28,582 --> 00:03:37,620 Pfft. Miss Falmacher, I still insist that this chair you got for Cap is a bit too comfy. 34 00:03:38,115 --> 00:03:43,517 Is this how we want our guests to be greeted? Pfft. 35 00:03:43,643 --> 00:03:51,997 By the way, did you hear about today's Grassssssside Greene catastrophe? 36 00:03:52,645 --> 00:03:59,937 I believe they are talking about it on the news right now. How convenient. Aging. 37 00:04:00,594 --> 00:04:06,320 Keeping its perfect record intact, disaster struck today in Middling Fair's half-sister town, 38 00:04:06,581 --> 00:04:10,091 Grassssssside Greene. 39 00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:14,983 Early this morning, an iceberg was seen floating through the parking lot of the town's 40 00:04:14,983 --> 00:04:17,464 Brace for Impact shopping plaza. 41 00:04:17,671 --> 00:04:22,363 Grassssssside Greene's Mayor Barkley had this to say. Bark. Bark. 42 00:04:25,917 --> 00:04:32,603 This is the town's first official parking lot iceberg sighting of the season. Turning to business 43 00:04:32,603 --> 00:04:38,843 and entertainment news, upheaval in the world of cable tv continues as services struggle to make 44 00:04:38,843 --> 00:04:45,803 I could have done that as a voiceover. At least our disasters are confined to one month a year. 45 00:04:45,803 --> 00:04:51,286 At that very moment, a rather flustered-looking Danny Hillcrest emerges from the hotel's restaurant, 46 00:04:51,664 --> 00:04:53,428 rapidly headed towards the front desk. 47 00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:58,203 He is carrying a small package and is being pursued by the fancy eatery's maitre d'. 48 00:05:04,762 --> 00:05:10,923 Danny reaches the desk. His eyes dart about the room. Leaning in to talk to Giles, he nearly knocks over a small 49 00:05:10,923 --> 00:05:13,483 Venus de Milo statue that sits on the counter. 50 00:05:13,900 --> 00:05:18,761 Sorry, I didn't know my darting eyes were that strong. 51 00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:24,936 Hi, Danny Hillcrest here. Yes, I know, Danny. 52 00:05:25,251 --> 00:05:27,808 Why are you whispering? 53 00:05:28,681 --> 00:05:38,665 I don't want to disturb Miss Falmacher. Ooh, how lucky I am that you decided to disturb me instead. 54 00:05:38,962 --> 00:05:44,983 Maybe if I push gently I can... Ah! What was that? Nothing but trouble. 55 00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:52,087 What can I do for you, Danny? Oh, hi. Danny Hillcrest here. You already said that. 56 00:05:52,243 --> 00:05:57,683 Sorry. Have there been any wordly messages for me? Nary a one. 57 00:05:59,203 --> 00:06:03,988 No. It means no. Ah, got it. 58 00:06:04,258 --> 00:06:11,172 And what was that? Just the beginning of a month's worth of superfluous voiceover. I love it. 59 00:06:11,505 --> 00:06:13,223 You do? No! 60 00:06:13,963 --> 00:06:21,203 Danny, what do you want? I'm not sure. It's been a tough few months. 61 00:06:21,345 --> 00:06:24,999 Still no luck selling your holiday rom-com script? 62 00:06:25,738 --> 00:06:29,834 Don't give up hope, Danny. You just need to keep submitting it. 63 00:06:30,257 --> 00:06:34,731 Someone will show interest, which will lead to a movie deal. 64 00:06:35,073 --> 00:06:37,288 And that will lead to a premiere. 65 00:06:37,693 --> 00:06:45,399 Maybe even right here in Middling Fair. And you moving to California, I hope. 66 00:06:45,624 --> 00:06:47,244 I don't thinkingly know. 67 00:06:47,595 --> 00:06:52,276 I've been turned down more times than the Wilshire Boulevard entrance to the 405. 68 00:06:52,744 --> 00:06:56,976 I keep tweakingly updating the holiday and sending it to another cable channel. 69 00:06:57,283 --> 00:07:03,052 Now it's the Arbor Day story of a man tree surgeon who falls for a woman lumberjack logger. 70 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:15,691 I call it, I Stanned Her Sawing There. I see you clearly took my advice and only wrote about your own personal experiences. 71 00:07:15,883 --> 00:07:21,948 Two Fortnite tournament weeks ago, I sent it to the very last cable channel on my list. 72 00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:26,543 The LOW channel. LOW? The legit off-the-wall channel. They take anything. 73 00:07:26,543 --> 00:07:33,165 Well, except for old Quibi content and Zach Galifianakis projects. 74 00:07:33,823 --> 00:07:34,740 Nobody wants those. 75 00:07:35,523 --> 00:07:39,823 Oh, I'm so sorry, Danny. It's not just that, Ms. Falmacher. 76 00:07:40,519 --> 00:07:43,553 I had to borrow an awful lot to send out all these scripts. 77 00:07:44,354 --> 00:07:49,823 I'm not sure certain people will be happy if things don't work out and I can't repay them. 78 00:07:50,823 --> 00:07:59,823 Ah! Danny! That's just Cap! With amazing speed, Danny races across the lobby 79 00:07:59,823 --> 00:08:01,693 towards the sliding door next to... 80 00:08:01,823 --> 00:08:03,484 No time for Narrational Voiceovers. 81 00:08:04,312 --> 00:08:04,781 Gotta go! 82 00:08:08,778 --> 00:08:17,468 What was that all about? I don't know, but he... Oh, he left his package behind. Danny! Danny! 83 00:08:18,446 --> 00:08:27,151 Are those... DVDs? Yes, a boxed set called the On The Lamb Collection. 84 00:08:27,529 --> 00:08:34,371 Hmm, let's see. There's Some Like It Hot, Sister Act, My Blue Heaven, 85 00:08:34,767 --> 00:08:36,946 and Snakes on a Plane. 86 00:08:37,488 --> 00:08:42,671 Why does he keep buying these? He never even takes them out of the shrink wrap. 87 00:08:43,328 --> 00:08:49,468 Maybe he's hoping that one day they'll be as valuable as his collection of movie theater 88 00:08:49,891 --> 00:08:58,048 popcorn buckets. Still filled with popcorn. Buttered popcorn. 89 00:09:00,528 --> 00:09:05,258 Is Danny really in trouble? Who exactly are these people that Danny owes? 90 00:09:05,834 --> 00:09:08,769 And when is someone going to fix that revolving door? 91 00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:15,367 For possible answers, be sure to come back for Chapter 2, High 10 AM. 92 00:09:18,671 --> 00:09:23,883 If you like the show, please help spread the word by sharing it on social media. 93 00:09:24,343 --> 00:09:25,819 Maybe even right now. 94 00:09:26,305 --> 00:09:29,987 You are this show's greatest media influencer. 95 00:09:30,617 --> 00:09:37,360 In this episode, as Abby, Bonnie Kenderdine. as the maître d, Nathan Alvord, 96 00:09:37,918 --> 00:09:40,916 and the narrator was played by Gary J. Chambers. 97 00:09:41,609 --> 00:09:50,485 Garyjchambersvo.com. Additional voices, as well as story and music, by Clinton Alvord. 98 00:09:50,935 --> 00:09:54,122 Copyright 2023. All rights reserved. 99 00:09:54,878 --> 00:10:00,874 See you next time. But for now, that's it. We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye-bye! 100 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:16,333 Music.